SEEMS when Bermuda bowler Kevin Hurdle's not smokin', he's steamin'!

Upset after an article in the Notebook column during last year's tour of Kenya and South Africa made mention of his liking for the odd cigarette, the lanky paceman made it clear he wouldn't be talking to The Gazette again.

And in training this week he reinforced that stance, telling this correspondent in the nicest possible way where he could stick his notebook.

Well, that's OK Kev.

Perhaps when the World Cup gets underway you'll let your bowling do the talking.

* * * *

BERMUDA skipper Irving Romaine has probably been called a few things during his career. For whatever reason, his team-mates refer to him as 'Jack'.

But 'Romano Eduardo'? That's how he was introduced to the crowd at Arnos Vale on Thursday by a local PA announcer as he walked out onto the pitch to decide the toss with Zimbabwe skipper Prosper Utseya. Where did that come from?

* * * *

'WE try harder' is the worldwide slogan of rental car company Avis. In St. Vincent, perhaps they should change that to "We drive you crazy'.

This correspondent and>Gazette chief photographer David Skinner seem to have spent almost as much time at the Avis rental 'shack' outside the airport this week as we have at nearby Arnos Vale.

On arrival last week, the car booked wasn't available. So rather than the four-door, automatic, air-conditioned saloon we'd expected, we were handed a rather well used, manual SUV with broken down fan.

As we were to discover, the gear box wasn't too sharp either requiring us to return the vehicle a day later.

Our replacement? Another manual SUV, with air conditioning but two bald front tyres, a bald spare with a hole in it and a speedometer hanging from the dashboard by a couple of wires.

That was to last another day before a glance in the rear mirror following an almighty crash on the way to Zimbabwe's training session revealed our corroded chrome muffler lying in the middle of the road.

Handy-man Skinner proceeded to find a piece of wire and hook it back on, allowing us to noisily limp back into Kingstown where our friendly Avis agent offered a second replacement — another SUV, an automatic for heaven's sake. Sporting a couple of huge dents in the bonnet and along the doors, it at least seems to be in reasonable working order. So far!

* * *B>

BERMUDA'S less than impressive results in warm-up matches against England and Zimbabwe this week have done little to counter the argument by former West Indies greats Michael Holding and Courtney Walsh who claim their presence and that of other cricket minnows will 'devalue' the World Cup.

Support has come from other quarters, none stronger than India's national daily newspaper who in a scathing editorial labelled World Cup group games a complete waste of time, suggesting the tournament should be restricted to only the 'Super Eight'.

Here's what they said: "Welcome to the big, fat, overblown World Cup, a multi-coloured festival that for almost one-third its length is an ode to tediousness. Only in cricket, which has fewer nations than most sports yet manages to be ineptly run, could officials stretch this cup to 47 days, making it the longest event in mainstream sport.

"It's more than twice as long as the Tour de France. Three times the length of the Olympics. Nearly three weeks longer than football's World Cup. We understand long days, and travel, but when they say hold the World Cup in the winter, did they mean the entire winter? "This is cricket's shining moment, it's four-yearly carnival, and while it's a trifle conceited to say the world is watching, occasionally even American journalists ("hey buddy, why doesn't he just chuck the ball") show up to do polite comparisons with baseball.

"How do you explain to such visitors that the cup starts on March 13, but really begins on March 27, that to arrive at the tense Super Eight phase first you need to exit the brain-cell-murdering Super Dull phase. To watch the Dutch or the Scots play is to feign excitement, and the cup is littered with early matches that hold no prospect of an upset or a hint of a contest.

"India versus Bermuda is like Conan against Lassie. This will bring more people to cricket? "The World Cup in 1975 lasted two weeks and comprised eight nations, a masterpiece of brevity. Of course, the valour of new nations must be recognised, and revenue earned, so in 1996 the cup was increased to 12 teams. Bearable. In 2003 it was inflated to 14 teams. Mostly unbearable. Now it is 16. Welcome to mismatch heaven."