After a devastating opening year to the new Millennium, MJ Tumbridge has entered 2001 with a renewed sense of purpose.

The eventer, whose horse, Bermuda's Gold, had to be put down after a tragic accident at the Sydney Olympics in September, was awarded the Queen's Certificate and Badge of Honour in the New Year Honours list.

This, coupled with goodwill wishes from scores of Islanders, have helped her begin the year with new-found optimism.

Speaking from her base in Surrey, England, Tumbridge said: "It's an absolutely huge honour. I got a phone call to tell me about it and then they asked me if I would accept it and I was like `absolutely'.'' Tumbridge believes the award is in recognition of years of self sacrifice.

"I think people have recognised that I have been doing it for many years, and have been going for it. I think they really realise that it's not only for myself that I do it, but that I do it for the country,'' she said.

"I try to sweep everyone along with me. I think I have been recognised for that and I am really thrilled.'' Her outlook on life is markedly different from the days immediately after the accident on September 21 which happened at the second fence of the cross-country phase of the Three-Day Event. Bermuda's Gold landed awkwardly, shattering her left hind leg and veterinarians were left with no option but to recommend she be destroyed.

The loss of her `closest friend' left Tumbridge -- a gold medal winner in the Pan Am games in 1999 -- considering her future in the sport.

The pain has eased with the months and with the Island lauding her efforts, she is able to smile once more.

"For me at the moment it has been very helpful because I did have something very tragic happen to me last year,'' Tumbridge said.

"You sort of wonder what you are going to do, where you are going to be, what the future holds.

"Then something like this comes along and all of a sudden you feel inspired -- you feel like `God, let's go, let's do it all again!' "I have come into this year with the belief that anything can happen. Gosh, who knows what might happen, the world may be my oyster this year. I'm very open-minded.

"I will go into the season with the horses that I have. I have six or seven and I will put as much effort into each and everyone of them as I have always done -- and probably more. Even if the cards aren't all face up I will push like I always have.'' Tumbridge said she hoped the award would put the spotlight back on her sport, and encourage others to prepare themselves to pick up the baton from her.

"There are people following behind me, but people are very quick to give up because of how difficult it can be,'' she said.

"But if they can see that through all of that you will get recognised....'' Tumbridge said because of her success, and most recently her tragedy, there was a growing band of people in Bermuda interested in her exploits.

"I do think the support is getting better. I have felt much more support from the country in the last two or three years than I have in the past, and I think I have worked hard for that,'' she said.

"I think the gold medal has helped a lot of people to recognise who I am and what I am out there to do. That has been really good.'' Although there were a lot of people behind her, Tumbridge felt many were in the dark when it came to just how much effort she had had to put in to get to where she is today.

Continued on page 21 Sacrifices pay off for MJ Continued from page 19 Said Tumbridge: "People don't know the half of it. If they could live the day to day life of myself they would realise there is a lot of hard work goes into it, and a lot of times when you could say `Gosh' -- like today for example, I've been out in the rain on horses, I've got to put my rain suit on, it's pouring outside but I have to go out there. You can't just say `Oh I won't do that today' it's got to be done.

"You have to be motivated, you have got to keep striving and I think I am being recognised for that.'' With her sporting season over, the months since the Olympics have been a chance both for reflection and looking to the future.

"In eventing terms I haven't done much because the season came to an end. But it has been a great time to get myself back together and work on the young horses I have here,'' she said.

"I have a few things in the pipeline. I'm going to try to get a stallion of my own, to be able to compete and hopefully go on with. Unfortunately I haven't had anybody who has offered to buy a horse. That part of it has been a bit disappointing.

"I was really hoping for people in Bermuda to all come together and try and help put some money into a horse -- something further along than the ones I have.

"I have very talented horses, but they are four, five and six-year-olds -- they are at the very beginning of their careers and it takes probably four to five years to get them to the level we need.'' Unlike the vast majority of sports, top-level eventing requires a massive outlay of cash before there is even a hint of success -- and it is money that Tumbridge simply does not have.

"Bermuda's Gold alone was worth probably 400,000 -- that's a lot of money. I insured her, but only for what I could afford, but it wasn't a lot. It was nowhere even near,'' she said.

Until someone comes up with the 50,000 plus needed for a championship-ready animal, Tumbridge will dedicate herself to her younger steeds.

"I have a couple of young horses at the moment and my eyes are very much focused on the next Pan American games. I should have two that are ready and hopefully will be able to go and win it again,'' she said.

Tumbridge, in her mid-30s, believes she has many years ahead of her, and with her ambitions redoubled aims to be around the eventing circuit for some time.

"I have got horses that aren't even born yet. I have one that's going to drop on the ground in April that's expecting me to ride it -- I'm planning on doing this for quite a few years,'' she said.

"I think with eventing it's like any other sport, you go on as long as you feel brave enough and good enough to do it.

"Who knows, in 10 years I may say `OK everybody, I've had a great ride, but I'm going to focus now on something different, still with horses, but I won't be doing it myself'.

"But I hope that doesn't come in 10 years' time, I hope in 10 years' time I am even better than I am now and able to put some more gold medals in the bag.'' Precious memory: MJ Tumbridge rides the late Bermuda's Gold during the Olympic Three-Day Event in Sydney in September.

Golden girl: MJ with medal.