a weekend incident at the Heritage Invitational National Championships and blasted the Bermuda Track and Field Association regarding its handling of himself and the sport in general.

Although expressing regret for his actions, DeSilva had particularly harsh words for current BTFA vice-president Stan Douglas with whom he scuffled in view of hundreds of spectators on Friday night, turning the infield at the National Stadium into a wrestling ring. It took four men, including an off-duty policeman, to finally restrain DeSilva as he continually lunged at Douglas during a tirade lasting more than five minutes.

"My actions were wrong, but the BTFA and Mr. Douglas have no plans for me in their programme, which hurt me so bad as I have worked so hard,'' wrote DeSilva. "I was tired of Mr. Douglas' verbal abuse toward me.

"Every time I tried to get some answers from Mr. Douglas he would get hot-headed toward me, call me a little boy or an ass. Once he even wanted to fight me.'' However, Douglas was quick to refute these allegations.

"There has been a lot of work done on his behalf behind the scenes,'' said Douglas from his home last night. "He wanted to be financed to train abroad and the association did put his name forward for consideration for the Elite Athletes Fund. But his times did not show that he should be awarded this assistance. It is through performance that you gain these opportunities.'' Douglas, who today travels to Honduras as manager of team for the Junior CAC Track and Field Championships, said that DeSilva was only seeking to justify his actions.

"No matter what he said, his actions are inexcusable,'' said Douglas, still seething over the affair. "I could run him in and take court action...it is all on tape.

"If he had struck and killed me what would he have to say then?'' With most of its members currently, or soon to be off the Island, including president Phil Guishard, DeSilva will probably have to wait a while before stating his case to the board. But Douglas stated that he had spoken to Guishard regarding the incident and that the case is definitely not closed.

The bad blood between DeSilva and the BTFA goes back to last year when the former began petitioning for access to the Elite Athletes Fund and when this request was denied he was left to `slog it out' alone at the stadium, relying on his own resources to enter meets abroad and face top-class opposition.

Hurt by the fact that he was not even considered for the Bermuda Olympic team, tensions rose with DeSilva glaring and pointing at Douglas while crossing the finish line second behind St. Thomas' Neville Hodge in the men's 100 metres -- he was third in the 200.

He then refused to accept his silver medal unless awarded on the podium situated in front of the stands rather than on the track next to the officials' table. This drew comments from Douglas, which were not well received by the sprinter.

"My goal was to show Bermuda how hard I had been working and I did just that,'' said DeSilva. "I felt great about my race. And then I saw officials giving kids their medals over in the corner, which I thought was wrong because they had the podium out.

"And not to forget this was Bermuda's senior National Championships. So I wanted my reward on the podium in front of friends, family and people who came to watch. I said something to my vice-president and he told me to stop being a child, which was one more strike against him.'' Matters boiled over following the completion of the men's 5,000 metres when Douglas was approached by DeSilva, and after exchanging words the pair came to blows with DeSilva at one point picking up a metal starters block and swinging wildly at Douglas.

"I spoke to him in the same terms as he spoke to me,'' said Douglas. "If a man can approach me showing no respect I can be rude also.'' DeSilva letter, Page 24 NICK-COLE DESILVA LETTER The following is sprinter Nick-Cole DeSilva's letter explaining his actions in Friday night's controversy at the National Track and Field Championships: Dear Sir, I would like to take this opportunity to say how sorry I am about the scene caused by me on July 3, at the National Stadium. My actions were wrong, but the Bermuda Track and Field Association and Mr. Douglas have no plans for me in their programme, which hurt me so bad because I have worked so hard.

The reason for my actions were that I was tired of Mr. Douglas' verbal abuse toward me. Every time I tried to get some answers from Mr. Douglas he would get hot-headed, call me a little boy or an ass...once he even wanted to fight me. But every time I'd just walk away. And I would be upset because I really wanted to take him out. But I also wanted to be a top-class athlete, so I paid him no mind. I have several witnesses and even a taped conversation that I had with him. He got verbally abusive and slammed the phone in my ear.

On the night of July 3, my goal was to show Bermuda how hard I had been working...and I did just that. I placed second in the 100 metres and felt great about my race. Then, I saw officials giving kids their medals in the corner, which I thought was wrong because they had the podium out. There was a great crowd and some athletes paid five bucks to be in this meet.

And, not to forget it WAS Bermuda's Senior National Championships so I wanted my reward on the podium in front of my friends, family and people who came to watch. So I said something to my vice-president and he told me to `stop being a child', which was one more strike against him.

Later that evening a family member overheard Mr. Douglas telling Mr. (Brian) Dowling that I was making a scene. He also said that I couldn't run 10.4 (seconds) or even beat the guys they had brought here to race. And, if I say anything else to him he would break both of my legs.

Therefore, I decided I should go over to talk to him and make peace. I called him aside and we began talking, but as soon as I asked him if he said what I'd heard he got verbally abusive with me again. He told me to get away from him and that I was nothing but a boy and an ass.

By now I was simply tired of him and the way I've been treated by both he and the BTFA staff. So I went after him and I really wanted to hurt that man because of how hard I've worked.

The BTFA have been doing things like this for years and it's time someone looked into things when it comes to track. If the people really look at it, the greatest performances by our athletes are done outside of Bermuda. Troy Douglas, Brian Wellman, Nicky Saunders, Miss (Dawnette) Douglas all did it outside of Bermuda. One year they didn't even want Miss Douglas to be in their Heritage Meet.

Track was once a growing sport but is now fading away. They can't even get their top guns home for the championships. The reason for this is that it is not the Front Street Mile or the 10-K. It is track and field and the only way we're going to have a good meet is if we win the gold in a major meet.

Someone has to look into the BTFA programme because they are getting away with a lot. I feel the people should ask why track isn't growing in Bermuda and why everyone is doing so well outside of Bermuda and not here (but this is Bermuda, nothing will ever happen to make a change).

Sports Minister, I hope you look into this.

But for all the people who witnessed what happened I wish to reiterate how sorry I am and I hope you will forgive me for my actions. And I hope your kids and your support will stay with track and field in Bermuda because WE can make a change in the future.

The BTFA may be the ones around the table but your kids and support are what make champions. Just don't let them (BTFA) do what they've been doing all these years.

To all you junior athletes, regardless of what happens to me I want all of you to stick with it and be champions. I might not be able to make a change but you can and I'll be there for you in heart and soul. I don't plan on giving up on track and field no matter what happens. Let's be the champions I know you are. Everyone just `turn it up'.

You are Bermuda's future. Even if Bermuda doesn't believe in you, I do.

Once again I'm sorry.

Yours truly, Nick-Cole DeSilva.

P.S. And to think Mr. Douglas is going to Barcelona as manager. Now tell me what example has he shown...and that's the way the system goes.

STAN DOUGLAS IN THE BEGINNING -- Nick-Cole DeSilva's temperament during Friday night is in evidence as he finishes second in the 100 metres. The man he is pointing at in the widebrimmed hat is none other then Stan Douglas.