Knowing when to reward a child for behaving responsibly
Dear Dave,
Our son is a freshman in high school, and he has the opportunity to take a school-sponsored, weeklong trip next year with the rest of his class. The student fee is $500. Over the past couple of years, he has started making money mowing lawns and doing odd jobs around the neighbourhood.
We’ve always taught him that money comes from work, and he has always been very focused on being smart with the money he earns. Do you think we should cover the entire $500, or should he have to contribute something?
– Patrice
Dear Patrice,
When it came to making these kinds of decisions at our house, my wife and I would always take a look at a few things. Is the child behaving? Are they getting good grades?
You know, just basic things that can reasonably be expected from most teenagers. Most of the time, if they were living like well-behaved, responsible young people, we’d pay for things like this as a reward.
But, there’s a good argument to be made for a child having some skin in the game at that age, too. If you and your husband can pay for it without causing yourselves any financial stress — and your son is fulfilling his responsibilities at school and at home — there’s nothing wrong with you paying the fee.
Then, here’s an idea. If you want to make this a teachable moment, another learning experience, you could require him to work and save up his own spending money for the trip.
I’m glad you and your husband are thinking of your teenage son as an adult in training.
I know you love him, but it’s also a parent’s job to teach their children what they need to know for that moment when you send them off to college, trade school or even their own apartment and their first real, full-time job.
Trust me, you don’t have to be a finance professor to teach your child how to save money and wisely manage their finances.
Patrice, I’m so impressed with the young man you’re raising. To have that kind of drive and maturity at his age is a testimony to him and to how well you and your husband have taught and guided him throughout the years.
I have no doubt your son will be well-prepared to take on the world one day.
In the meantime, I hope he has lots of fun on his upcoming trip!
— Dave
• Dave Ramsey is an eight-times national bestselling author, personal finance expert and host of The Ramsey Show. He has appeared on Good Morning America, CBS This Morning, Today, Fox News, CNN, Fox Business and many more. Since 1992, Dave has helped people regain control of their money, build wealth, and enhance their lives. He also serves as CEO of Ramsey Solutions
