All my mother had to say was: “Just wait until your father gets home.”

Those words were magic. They could snap me into obedience like nothing else. Not because my father was a terrifying disciplinarian – far from it. He was gentle, loving, fun.

But he had something many men naturally carry when they walk into a room: command. A kind of silent strength that did not need to raise its voice. You just knew where the line was drawn.

My brother Andrew, who has a disability, often tested limits with our mother and sisters. He could play us like a fiddle. But he never played around with my dad.

Even after my father passed away, Andrew continues to respect the authority of his brother and nephews – while still manipulating his sisters with ease.

It’s something I’ve observed with wonder over the years: there’s a deep, natural impact a man’s presence can have.

It’s not about brute force or shouting commands. It’s about consistency, calm, boundary-setting, and love. It’s about a kind of rooted masculinity that brings balance into a child’s life – particularly for boys.

It does not mean mothers are not capable, strong, or essential. In fact, many women raise children alone and do an incredible job. But just as a bicycle can’t ride well with one wheel, raising a child – especially a son – is fundamentally more stable when both parents play active roles.

Right now, that balance is missing. And the consequences are visible everywhere.

I ask this question: “Where are the fathers?”

In many communities, particularly those hit hardest by poverty, incarceration, and generational trauma, the presence of fathers in the home has declined.

The scales have tipped. We see too many women struggling to raise boys without consistent, positive male input. And too many boys growing up emotionally underdeveloped, hurt, and confused about their own identities.

Frederick Douglass, the great abolitionist and thinker, once said: “It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.”

It’s a quote that hits deeper today than ever before. You don’t have to look far to find evidence of this truth in broken families, rising violence, addiction, and boys searching for identity in all the wrong places.

But this is not just a social issue – it’s a spiritual one, too.

In a powerful Hadith, Abu Darda reported that the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “The father is the middle of the gates of Paradise. If you wish, you can squander this gate or keep to it.”

This underlines the critical spiritual responsibility placed on fathers – not just providers, but guides towards morality, strength, and righteousness. It’s a role not to be taken lightly.

Wade Horn, a leading advocate for fatherhood and family policy, once shared a remarkable story that illustrates the role of father figures in an unexpected way – through elephants.

In South Africa’s Kruger National Park, wildlife rangers relocated a herd of juvenile male elephants to a new reserve. The young elephants had been orphaned – raised without older males – due to the culling of adults to control population growth. Not long after their relocation, strange and violent behaviour emerged. These adolescent elephants began attacking other animals – specifically, they were killing rhinos.

The rangers were baffled. This kind of behaviour was unheard of.

Eventually, they decided to introduce a few mature bull elephants from other reserves. What happened next was stunning: the violent behaviour stopped almost immediately.

The older bulls did not fight the juveniles. They did not dominate them physically. They simply showed up and modelled mature behaviour. Their presence alone established a natural hierarchy and social order the young elephants had never learnt.

This became a powerful metaphor for human society. As Dr Horn said, “We had raised a generation of wild, violent teenage elephants because there were no fathers.”

The story resonated deeply. It shows the absence of male role models has consequences not just for the individual but for society at large. Boys without guidance grow into men without direction. And without direction, chaos often follows.

We know the ills or the root causes of the challenges we face; so now what do we do?

First, we need to challenge men to step up – not just as biological fathers, but as father figures. Every uncle, older cousin, coach, mentor, neighbour, and friend has a role to play in the life of a boy who’s growing up without a dad.

Let’s expand our understanding of fatherhood to include all the positive male influences that shape a child’s life. Father’s Day is a chance not just to honour our own dads, but to celebrate the uncles who listened, the neighbours who offered advice, the teachers who saw our potential, and the coaches who believed in us.

Second, we need to call on mothers – especially those raising children alone – to support safe, healthy relationships between their children and their fathers or other male role models.

It can be painful. There may be hurt, history, and conflict. But if a father is not dangerous or abusive, his presence can be critical in a child’s life. No bitterness is worth the emotional damage of a father’s absence.

Third, we need to pray and act with purpose. This Father’s Day, we pray:

Dear God, please guide those of us who are fathers to care for our families with Your wisdom. Strengthen us in the daily challenges of parenting. Give us the fruits of Your Spirit: love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

We pray for those who are fatherless, or who face painful family realities. For those who find Father’s Day difficult. Let Your love be a source of peace and comfort.

We think of fathers struggling with poverty, working long hours, or facing unemployment. Give them strength, hope, and support. And help us, as a community, to lift them up – not tear them down. And may Fathers truly have a “Happy Father's Day” Ameen.

Let’s remind every boy, whether he has a father in his life or not, that he is seen. That he is loved. That he is made in the image of God. That his life has purpose.

Let’s call men to live up to their divine potential – not just by providing materially, but by guiding spiritually, emotionally, and morally.

Because boys need fathers — not perfect ones, just present ones.

Bermuda, let's continue to pray for world peace, forbearance, immediate and permanent ceasefire, hope and healing. Let's pray fervently for the whole family.

As salaam alaikum (peace be unto you).

• Linda Walia Ming is a member of the Bermuda Hijab Dawah Team, a group of Muslim women who reside in Bermuda and have a goal of educating the community about the religion of Islam