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Helping women to live the life they deserve

How many women stay in unhappy relationships hoping the other person will change?

How many women escape from one nightmare only to find themselves reliving the experience in their next relationship?

Rosana Vickers is offering a helping hand to women stuck in a vicious circle. He Loves Me ... He Loves Me Not is a 12-week programme designed to help females break free from failed relationships and “live the life they deserve”.

“One of the comments made to me over and over was, ‘I keep picking the same type of person',” said Mrs Vickers, a certified life coach. “I'm always hearing ‘I can't find any good men'. I believe there are good people everywhere and there are good men — lots of good men. I decided to put on a programme that helps with skill-building and healthy relationships; a programme that would help people with taking a look at self. What are the patterns? What's underneath those choices? And learning to make choices about your next partner or even where you are now.”

Mrs Vickers runs Bermuda Anger Management, Mediation and Professional Services with Joanne Odoli. They provide educational programmes and mediation for adults on any number of issues.

“Over the years I've met with many hundreds of couples,” she said. “They usually seek me out when there's something going on in their relationship, when there are challenges. They're looking for help and how to get to a better, healthier relationship.”

Her advice comes from decades of mentoring — as a facilitator, life coach, domestic violence specialist and mediator — and through her own experience.

“Years ago, I had an unhealthy relationship and I made that choice that I was not going to be in that space and I decided to do something about it,” she said. “Many women live in hope that the person will change. It doesn't matter if you're Betty Crocker or Suzy Homemaker, the only person you can change is yourself. The course that I'm offering is about taking a look at self. It's going to be a frank conversation with lots of interesting topics and hopefully lots of fun.”

The programme is open to females 18 and older; Mrs Vickers said she's had 70-year-olds in previous classes.

A woman scorned, the other woman, know your role and baggage claim are the interesting names of some of the topics up for discussion.

A few men have also been invited to come and have a frank talk about the “mistakes that women make that drive them crazy”.

“For the first ten sessions it's going to be educational and the last two will be more or less support [so women are] able to express where they were when they first came to the group, to express what they learned and what their future goals are, the changes they're prepared to make,” she said.

Change is something Mrs Vickers has recently learned a lot about.

She was on the dance floor when she had a brain aneurysm last July.

The following month she was recuperating after her treatment at Boston's Massachusetts General Hospital when she decided to quit her job and open BAMMPS.

Coincidentally, her husband Eugene Vickers was admitted into King Edward VII Memorial Hospital on the same day her health issues received the all-clear.

He died in October, the result of “various health issues and complications”, Mrs Vickers said.

The couple had been married for 20 years and were the co-founders of a support group for males, Calling All Men.

“We both loved to help people so I decided to continue helping whoever I can,” she said. “I decided to continue doing what I loved. It was about taking all that I liked and loved to do and creating something positive.”

She hopes that the women who sign up for her course will be equally as enthusiastic about preparing themselves for their next relationship.

“Love is a wonderful thing,” she said. “It's wonderful to be in a good relationship — to laugh, to have fun. It shouldn't be about tears, crying, arguments. It should be a beautiful space, all that you dream or think it should be. Why can't you have it?”

Interested women have until Saturday to register for the $120 course which starts on Monday and runs from 6pm until 7.30pm.

• For more information contact bammps@mail.com or call 735-5861.

Creating something positive: Rosana Vickers is offering a helping hand to women stuck in a vicious circle through a 12-week programme (Photo by Akil Simmons)

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Published April 15, 2015 at 9:00 am (Updated April 14, 2015 at 10:30 pm)

Helping women to live the life they deserve

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