"As a courtesy to the artistes we ask that you avoid making any unnecessary noise or disturbance during the performance." – Bermuda Festival programme

Try telling that to fans of Not the Um Um Players, who packed City Hall to capacity for the launching of the 2009 Bermuda Festival by Bermuda's hugely popular satirical comedy quartet.

In fact, such was the extended, and wildly enthusiastic, applause which greeted their initial appearance on stage that Bruce Barritt quipped: "We might as well go home now, we've got the cheque."

It was the same when the first words of the pre-appearance prologue boomed through the darkness, and nothing would change the rapturous reception until the final curtain dropped.

Like conquering heroes, the Not the Um Um Players ship of satire sailed on and on, its sharply bladed propeller cutting through the script and songs with deadly wit and accuracy.

As always, nothing and no-one was beyond the reach of the pithy pens which concocted possibly the most hilarious, 400-year history of Bermuda yet written.

Unlike the driven researchers who wallow in the minutae of archival fodder for half their lives before writing a single syllable (to be bickered over by someone else), this lot took a more succinct route, cutting to the chase, and working through the centuries in an ingenious pastiche of words, song and sketches – or what they termed "A complete, condensed history of Bermuda – abridged".

In the interests of time, the first 50 million years were omitted, and the story began "when the people showed up" – or, 1503 to be precise, when Juan de Bermudez arrived and, "like a typical Bermudian father, stayed one day, gave us his name, and left".

The British entered the picture in 1609 – "or almost ten past four" – and from then on it was a journey which touched on many milestones, not a few of which were founding "firsts": tourism, with our luring of unsuspecting ships on to the rocks; offshore business through supplying stolen gunpowder to waiting boats off St. George's; salt raking as the first pillar of the economy, which gave rise to salt cod and the Bermudian breakfast; and the renaming of 'Orange Free State' or 'Transvaal' shorts worn by the British to 'Bermuda shorts' during the time the Boer War prisoners were here, which inspired " 'Shorty' Trimingham to open a store".

Bermuda's links with various American wars and its economy; the longtail and cahow, the building of Dockyard, the arrival of the first motor car – followed by the first gas station two years later; the Bermuda Railway, air transportation; Immigration, the Mohawk connection with St. David's, Bermudian lingo, and the weather, were just some of the elements of our rich and colourful history which the quartet covered so brilliantly.

As always, politics, including the UBP's "electile dysfunction"; politicians of both parties, civil servants, and the courts, came in for heavy lampooning, to roars of approval of course, as a pageant of the ridiculous, inept, illogical, profligate, unfathomable, and ego-driven unfolded in dialogue and music.

Radio Mohawk (De Sound of St. David's), with announcer Bruce Barritt (Hur I am) at the toilet-plunger mike, delivered the inimitable mix of 'regional' news, weather forecasts, cuisine developments, and commercials for such products as fibre optic breakfast bars, and Body Guard, the deodorant for the important man. 'Ratings' were certainly high as the cognoscenti spontaneously sang the station's signature tune, and the infamous 'dubbly-dubbly-dubbly'. The 'Independence' song was greeted enthusiastically, especially its closing line: "Bermuda is still a colony".

After approximately 100 minutes, the show ended with the audience participating in the 'new' Bermuda anthem, 'Mayonnaise Goes with Everything', sung to the tune of Day O (aka the Banana Boat Song). Without doubt, brothers Bruce and Fred Barritt, Chris Broadhurst and Tim Taylor are masters of imagination and humour.

When it comes to content, script writing, composing, singing and acting, the end result is always an extremely clever, funny and unforgettable production — and in this instance an excellent start to this special Bermuda Festival as the Island celebrates its 400th anniversary.

Kudos also to set designer Philip McIntosh and his assistants, Kevin Blee and Kevin MacDonald, for their striking set of traditional Bermuda rooflines, chimneys, and ultimately construction cranes; to Bruce Hallett for his, as always, artistic lighting; and the combined efforts of Not the Um Um Players and technician Viv Williams for their spot-on sound.

After 20 years of sell-out productions, and last seen in their 'final' show in 2004, one wonders if, in terms of the future, the title of this special edition, 'Never Say Never', should be taken to heart.

Speaking of which, the quartet leaked the news that the next thing voters can look forward to is the arrival of you-know-who's Valentine card, so we can all Feel the Love.