There is one thing to be said about celebrity train wreck marriages: Folks like Alex Rodriguez, Phil Collins and Morgan Freeman can afford to make big fat divorce settlements, and move on.

That is not so true for most everyday people. In fact, tough economic times are making it even tougher for them to split up at all. More unhappy couples are continuing to cohabitate even as their marriages break up, because they can't sell their houses. Spouses worried about the weak job market do not want to sign on to costly alimony agreements and cannot see paying lawyers tens of thousands of dollars either. They cannot bring themselves to talk about paying for braces and tuition bills that may be a decade or more in the future and, at least for now, seem insurmountably high.

Yet, staying together for the sake of the MasterCard bill is probably not the best way to go either. The relationship continues to deteriorate, the kids suffer, and the finances do not improve enough to make a difference.

There are new specialists, however, including mediators, divorce financial planners and forensic accountants who can make the financial part of divorce easier.

Here's how to use them, and how to equitably split the cash after the relationship has been ripped asunder.

— Get info. A clear picture of where each spouse stands is critical. Find out how much the house is really worth in today's market. Add up all of the credit card bills. If there is reason to believe a spouse may be concealing money, hire a certified public accountant who specializes in forensics - finding hidden money - to make sure that all of the assets remain on the table.

— Get tax and financial advice. This is not the same thing as legal advice. The way you structure alimony, retirement transfers and home sales can make a huge difference in how much is left at the end of the day. Financial advisors who specialise in divorce know all about how to divide homes, 401(k) plans and other assets so that taxes are reduced and more money stays with the couple. To find a specialist, check the Institute of Divorce Financial Analysts (www.institutedfa.com) and the Academy of Financial Divorce Practitioners (academyfdp.org).

— Dump the house. It is often typical for the wife to want to keep the house, particularly if there are children involved. But in many cases she cannot really afford to keep it up, and trades valuable assets such as retirement savings just to hold on to the property. If one spouse stays in the house but depends on the other to keep up mortgage payments, that can compromise the credit rating and financial health of both of them, and keep them tied together financially long after they'd each prefer to move on. In today's tough real estate market, some couples are finding they have to negotiate short sales - selling the house at a price below what's owed on the mortgage and getting the bank to accept the lower payment as payment in full. If you are upside down on your home loan - owing more than you own - look for an attorney who is a short-sale specialist.

— Talk about college. Children of divorce are less successful at completing college than children of intact marriages, and that is often because the parents split without coming to terms with who will pay those whopping tuition bills. The more specific the agreement on this, the better.

Decide early on what percentage each spouse will pay, and also discuss amounts. For example, parents might agree on a college budget based on what institutions are charging today, and then agree to adjust it upwards by the rate of inflation until their child is of college age.

Linda Stern is a freelance writer. Any opinions in the column are solely those of Ms. Stern. You can e-mail her at lindastern@aol.com