ast week's column on the swine that have taken over eBay appears to have touched a chord in Bermuda. Letters from readers reveal that I'm not the only one to feel the heat of the online auction site attracting the wrong kind of people.

"I know exactly how you feel," wrote the first reader. "I was put on the eBay stop list the day after payment was supposed to arrive, even though I advised the seller that a cheque from Bermuda could take up to ten days.

"I sent a money order for $5 instead of cash. Sure enough after payment arrived, there was no 'I'm sorry, I made a mistake', or anything like that. The product simply arrived at the Post Office. Perhaps because of that incident, I haven't purchased anything since ? but I still might.

"It's paradoxical, since the founder of eBay was interviewed on , I think, just last week, stating that the idea was birthed on the truism that people are for the most part honest. Like you, I've purchased quite a few things from eBay and was really hooked at the beginning ? when I had no problems. Now it has 168 million users at last count and with that huge market, the unsavoury elements of this world are counted among them. I must say that your article really got me thinking about whether or not I should purchase again. I probably will, but only if the item is hard to obtain (elsewhere)."

The second reader had a much worse experience. He wrote:

"I just read your article on eBay sellers. Just wanted to let you know you're not alone! I recently tried to buy a cell phone from a seller in California. I e-mailed (the seller) with my situation before I won the phone. (I told him I was) in Bermuda, where Paypal is not available, so my father-in-law (in the US) would pay via Paypal. (I also said that) since the seller would not ship outside the US, he could send it to my US address.

" 'No problem, outside of the payment' he replied. He then conjured up some mumbo-jumbo about how this was unacceptable to him. So then I told him to send a 'request payment' to my father in law through Paypal. Again, he found this unacceptable.

"The only other options were cash or bank draft. So, I went down to HSBC Bank of Bermuda and drew a cheque for US$420, and FedExed it to him at a cost of $50.

"After checking online that he had the cheque in his grubby little hands, I asked him when he might send the cell phone. He replied that when the cheque cleared, he would ship. Three days later, I e-mailed him again. This time, the reply was: 'Sorry, the phone will not be shipped. Would you like me to return your counterfeit fraudulent cheque, or should I send it to the authorities along with your details?'

"I encouraged him to send the cheque along with my details to the authorities. Two days later, I was suspended from eBay. I can only assume he showed the cheque to his brother-in-law and he decided there was no such country as Bermuda, no such bank as HSBC and no way Chase Manhattan would back said cheque. If he had taken it to the bank, obviously it would have cleared. All I can assume is this guy wanted cash and only cash, so he could get away with not sending me anything. After having me blocked from eBay, I have no way to leave any appropriate feedback for him. Therefore I will join you in the growing ranks of ex-eBayers."

The reader was able to stop the draft, he told me later.

My first thought was that the seller wanted cash because that way, he could avoid paying income tax on his profits. My advice was to report the seller to the US tax authorities. If he is paying all his taxes, nothing would be lost. If not ? once the Internal Revenue Service opens a file on you, they rarely close it until its subject has suffered the maximum pain and jail time. Many tax dodgers in the States move to southern Lebanon, because living with racist murderers such as Hizbollah and being bombed by Israel is an infinitely preferable lifestyle to dealing with the IRS. I'm joking, but only just.

Reading this letter reminded me of several occasions when I had a Bermuda draft, drawn on a major New York bank, and couldn't do anything with it. Quite the finest example was a vacation trip to Toronto. I foolishly took my spending money in a draft, which no Toronto bank would touch with a bargepole, even though I had already paid for the draft, and it was drawn on a huge New York bank.

I went to the Toronto office of the bank that had issued the draft and asked them to cash it for me. They refused, point blank. When I pointed out that they had issued the draft, the response was: "This office is not that kind of bank."

I explained just how stranded I would be without the cash, and it worked. They took pity on me and said I could have my money as soon as the draft cleared. That would take eight weeks, they said. My vacation was one week. A draft, of course, is a promise by a bank to pay, unlike a cheque, which is a personal promise to pay by the person who writes the cheque.

Having had enough of that jive, I demanded that they call the Police. Instead, they physically ejected me from their office. A security guard, about eight foot six, with a gun on his belt, actually said: "We can do this the hard way, or the easy way." I had to borrow some money from a relative. I have used cash and a credit card ever since. I can't say that it always works, but I have never again been thrown out of a bank, so that's something.

Morals abound this week, therefore. Steer clear of eBay. Steer clear of Hizbollah. For that matter, steer clear of Mel Gibson. Steer clear of Dell portable computers, as I advised you in a column a few years ago. The batteries explode, although in mine the battery was the only thing that did work. Use bank drafts sparingly. Oh, and while I'm at it, eat your vegetables, too.