According to James McHale and Regina Kuersten-Hogan, writing in the Journal of Adult Development, "?coparental alliances marked by poor cooperation, overt or covert oppositionality, disengagement by one coparental partner, or a combination of these factors put children at risk for both concurrent and later behavioral and socioemotional problems."

That was a mouthful. They were writing to survey the field of family studies in which parenting styles were addressed, and they were speaking to professionals in the field, but let's see if we can decode what they said.

Taking out my handy-dandy psychological jargon decoder ring, and swiveling the stone a half turn to the left as I place it over the term "coparental alliance," I notice the stone begins to turn a soothing, cool, silvery blue. My ring sighs, "Ah-h-h."

That's weird. With my Sherlock Holmes hat scrunched down around my ears, I deduct that a coparental alliance cannot possibly refer to that electric jolt of passion two adults experience when they make babies to begin with.

No. That would be a different color and sound altogether. Hm. This must refer to things like companionship, compassion, kindness, good will, communication and cooperation, mutual interest and affirmation.

The sound of the ring must refer to the ability to trust one another and find rest with each other. Hm. Rest from what? Maybe they are referring to the experience of being a team facing as teammates the stresses and challenges of parenting. Hold that one.

Taking out my handy-dandy psychological jargon decoder ring, and swiveling the stone a quarter turn to the right as I place it over the term "overt or covert oppositionality," I notice the stone begins to turn a dark and murky brown, like mud. It groans and growls.

With my Sherlock Holmes magnifying glass, I look more closely into the muddy stone where I see shadows of unfinished business grappling with one another as they slowly melt into goo. They can hardly move.

To each one are chained a number of hapless, faceless creatures, all hunched over. They make no sound, but they pick at themselves and one another.

Elementary, my dear Watson! This certainly refers to the conflict that occurs when the adults in the family disagree on how to parent.

Why would they do that when they could just as easily enjoy the "Ah-h-h" of cooperation? No need to find some sinister villain outside the family when they have each other to blame.

The struggle to be right or to have power over the other seems more important to such people than the soothing alliance they slowly and certainly knock to pieces and kick to the curb.

There must be dragons inside them, their own murky shadows and the remnants of having been a hapless creature once themselves. Hold that one too.

Taking out my handy-dandy psychological jargon decoder ring, and swiveling the stone a half turn to the left as I place it over the term "behavioral and socioemotional problems," I notice the ring turns a fiery orange. It begins to shriek. It actually become too hot to handle, and I set it down, where it starts to sob and cry and tremble.

Should I resort to my Sherlock Holmes pharmaceutical bag to make us all feel better? I think not, but I do pull the hat down a bit more tightly.

What might Sherlock Holmes do in a case like this? Hapless creatures who pick at themselves and others either need their parents to start working together or they need someone to break the chains that bind them to such futility and conflict.

If the parents, whether they are still living together or not, can forge an alliance as coparents, then fine. Maybe they need help to do that.

Fine. If, however, they cannot, then children in such families can benefit from the influence of adults outside the immediate family who come alongside and invest themselves in the lives of those children.

Do all the bad feelings inside a child, or the difficulties children have getting along with others, come from parenting styles in conflict or at stalemate? No. But many do. Hold that one as well.

In fact, hold all three.