A sailboat captain, battered by high seas en route to Bermuda, yesterday recalled the "terrible" moment he saw his best friend and co-pilot lost at sea.

Captain Dennis White, 64, was sailing his 41ft ketch Emma Goldman with close friend William Thorn, 62, and Mr Thorn's daughter Amanda, 25, when tragedy struck.

According to Capt White the boat, which had set sail from Martha's Vineyard, was going "too fast" when it approached a 25 to 30 ft wave and rolled 360 degrees.

"Suddenly it went from chaos, noise, splashing and everything to complete silence," he said.

The boat was submerged underwater for a few moments — and then turned upright, damaging the vessel's mast — at which point his first thought went to Mr Thorn. "When the boat came back I was very concerned about my comrade in the cockpit. He was my best friend and I couldn't see how he would survive rolling over outside so I ran out to the hatch. I got out there to where he was and his daughter was with him.

"She was holding on to him. He was in the water, his face was maybe six inches out of the water [and] all of his body was underwater. He had his hand on the rail and was trying to help her pull him up as she was not strong enough.

"I grabbed on, we both pulled. We couldn't get him free of the wires in the rigging that were left from the mast and he was pinned by the wires.

"I believe the mast either hit him or damaged him in some way [because] he was almost moaning and begging us to please help him."

He said he and Ms Thorn "tried and tried" to free her father — the need became more urgent once they learnt Mr Thorn couldn't breathe properly.

Capt White said Ms Thorn told him to get a knife from the kitchen to cut the safety line. Their hope was that her father could climb out of the ropes.

"I thought about it for a while. I thought if I cut this line I am going to lose him, but his face was [underwater] and the sea was washing over him. I said 'I am going to cut him loose because he is suffering too much. I have to let him have his peace'.

"I cut it and it was a terrible thing I had to do. [Ms Thorn] kept shouting 'Daddy, daddy don't leave me' — and it was too much you know."

After losing their loved one at sea, Capt White and Ms Thorn had to fight for 12 days to stay afloat in the sailboat until they were spotted on Sunday by a tanker, 193 nautical miles north-west of Bermuda. They were brought into the Island on Monday.

Battling cold weather and constant waves, they survived off pumpkin bread, oatmeal cookies, yoghurt, eggs and water.

They didn't have Emergency Position Indication Radio Beacon (EPIRB) on board — meaning the two survivors had to wait to be rescued by a passing oil tanker.

Capt White told The Royal Gazette: "I was totally devastated, I lost my best friend. I felt at times I had made too many mistakes; that it was my fault.

"I went through a lot of that, but his daughter Amanda she really brought me out of that, she said it wasn't [my] fault.

"(She told me) 'My father wanted to do it. He told me that if he died he didn't want to do it in a hospital, an old man suffering. He would rather die a violent death while he was doing something he loved.'"

His saving grace has been the support he has received from family and friends, Capt White said.

"I am so sad, that I am happy to smile any time I can smile," he added

"No one is showing anything but concern. There is no blame directed at me, I blame myself more than anyone else blames me. I just talked to my friend William's wife on the phone.

"She wants me to come to her and she wants to hug me. She wasn't mad at me. It's really difficult, I have to go to a funeral. I have never been so closely involved in a situation like this."

Capt White hopes his story will help others in dangerous situations out at sea and advised mariners to "never, ever leave port without an EPIRB".

He urged boaters to purchase every bit of safety equipment they could and base their journey on Mother Nature's schedule and not their own.

"Never doubt that the sea is stronger than you, always respect the sea, the weather conditions, because Mother Nature is stronger than you."

Asked whether he would go out to sea again, Capt White paused before he answered.

"There is a problem with sailing. It's like an addiction. I always say I will never go to sea again, but I always end up going back. I think there is something in your blood once you experience it you can't live without it.

"Right now I don't feel like sailing but in two years if the opportunity comes up, someone wants to deliver a boat, I will probably do it."

Ms Thorn left the Island to go back to the US on Monday, while Capt White is expected to leave for the US this afternoon.