Thousands seek sexual partners online
Thousands of residents are flocking to online websites for casual sexual relationships because it allows them to be uninhibited and discreet, a local psychologist said.
Adultfindfriends.com, an international website which boasts that it is the ?world?s largest sex and swingers personals site? has 3,825 listings for Bermuda.
Dr. Susan Adhemar, a psychologist with the Benedict Associates, said there are a number of factors that contribute to locals looking online for the website.
Bermuda?s small size and transient population contribute to the desire to go online looking for casual sex, but a person?s individual socio-sexual orientation and perceived social and sexual roles also play a part.
?In Bermuda, people are very terrified ? quite rightly so ? of confidentiality,? she said.
The website offers them a way to engage in activities without alerting the Island about their sexual preferences, infidelities and private life, she said.
The large transient population in Bermuda may also influence people and enable them to partake in more casual relationships, she said.
?When I was younger if you were being ?naughty? your neighbour or family friend would probably catch you,? she said.
?The close social bonds and extended families no longer play as big a role in Bermuda?s society because people come and go. There isn?t the same level of social control as there was.?
However, the urge to find casual sex online is not specific to Bermuda.
Dr. Adhemar explained that there are two types of socio-sexual orientation: People are either ?unrestricted? or ?restricted?.
People surfing these sites are more likely to fall into the first group.
Characteristics of the unrestricted group include ?a willingness to engage in sexual interactions with partners even in the absence of closeness, commitment or emotional bonding,? Dr. Adhemar said.
She also noted that unrestricted individuals are ?more likely to engage in sex earlier in a relationship, require less love and closeness and are more likely to be involved with two or more partners simultaneously?.
Dr. Adhemar said searching online for sexual partners would enable people in the unrestricted group to find similar people and ?give people the opportunity to express themselves and their needs with less social consequences?.
?I find ... when people are uninhibited it is because they do not know someone so well so they can engage in unrestricted activities,? she said.
?Meeting someone online is one way not to get involved in an emotional relationship first, which allows them to be more uninhibited.?
For women, especially, casual sexual relationships can allow them to ignore traditional social and sexual roles.
?As a relationship grows, particularly for women, they actually shut down and become inhibited and become the ?good girls? and ?the caretakers? that society expects them to be.
The wild spontaneity that was there in the beginning of the relationship gets toned down.?
While going online to seek out potential sexual partners is not unique to Bermuda, the number of registered clients does seem high.
When the Mid-Ocean News first wrote about this site in November there were 3,406 listings. That number has risen by 419 listings in the last two months.
The Mid-Ocean News article warned of the health and security risks associated with joining a website with the aim to find casual sex.
Despite the warnings by doctors and law enforcement officials the article seems to have piqued the interest of 208 men and 27 women who have since joined the site.
Tomorrow, in Saturday Spotlight, will examine what the users of Adultfindfriends.com want and why they joined the site.
