ever-so-serious election campaign.

At a United Bermuda Party forum in Hamilton Parish last week, everything went without a hitch until Premier the Hon. Sir John Swan introduced UBP Smith's South candidate Mr. Trevor Moniz as Mr. Trevor Woolridge.

There was a collective gasp from the crowd at Francis Patton School before Sir John corrected his mistake. Mr. Woolridge, of course, is a Progressive Labour Party candidate in Hamilton East.

Still, Sir John did better than the PLP's Mr. Stanley Morton, who made two serious tongue slips in the space of minutes at a pre-campaign rally in Pembroke.

"We in the United...the Progressive Labour Party,'' began Mr. Morton before horrified onlookers.

Moments later, he could not remember the name of Pembroke West Central candidate Mr. Philip Perinchief, whom he began to introduce as Mr. Jerome Dill -- Mr. Perinchief's UBP opponent.

Although the event was non-political, Friday's retirement dinner for Chief Justice the Hon. Sir James Astwood saw another politician stumble before a crowd.

PLP leader Mr. Frederick Wade began his remarks by acknowledging the Governor and his wife Lady Waddington -- standard protocol at such formal affairs.

"Your Excellency, Lady Langley,'' he said.

There was an audible gulp from the audience.

"Lady... Lady...'' Mr. Wade struggled trying to remember her name.

There was a smattering of laughter then an uncomfortable silence before the PLP leader, giving in to his memory lapse, forged on to acknowledge the rest of the head table dignitaries.

*** The Progressive Labour Party has made no secret of the fact it has targeted the four Warwick seats as the key to victory on October 5.

But would the party go as far as encouraging supporters to leave safe PLP constituencies for the marginal areas of Warwick? At least one UBP incumbent -- not a Warwick candidate -- has told such a tale.

Speaking on the record, officials pooh-pooh such a notion, but stories continue to circulate, partly fuelled by the nearly 700-voter growth the parish has seen since 1989.

The PLP stronghold of Devonshire North is the only constituency to lose voters since 1989.

A UBP campaign official told of a tiny Warwick East home, with an annual rental value too low for rent control, which housed 11 registered voters.

Mr. Alex Scott, a PLP campaign co-chairman and Warwick East candidate, has said people have moved to Warwick from Devonshire and "interestingly enough from Sandys,'' another PLP bastion.

But while the PLP is "more conscious of every little vote,'' mass migration was not part of the game plan, Mr. Scott said.

Mr. Joe Gibbons, UBP executive officer, said he has heard the rumours but rejects them out of hand. "I don't think they're anywhere near organised enough to do something like that,'' he said.

*** One of the most notorious statements uttered by a Bermuda politician belongs to Dr. Ewart Brown, who last year told a Progressive Labour Party rally that he returned to Bermuda because he had "scores to settle and accounts to pull even.'' Dr. Brown's political opponents in Warwick West have since seized on his words as an example of the "politics of revenge'' and a reason he should not be elected to the House of Assembly.

On Saturday night in a speech to the Sickle Cell Foundation, a year after the rally at PHC Stadium, Dr. Brown withdrew the comments.

"Ladies and gentlemen, let's set the record straight,'' he said. "I hope that this quote gets printed as much as some of the others in the Island's media tonight: I have no scores to settle and no accounts to pull even.'' *** At the same Saturday function, the Union of American Physicians & Dentists recognised Dr. Brown for his "skill and devotion as a clinical doctor and as a humanitarian whose life and principles have been devoted to the general benefit of all humanity.'' The Union also recognised Dr. Brown for his "clinical acumen in practice in Bermuda and in the United States and for his general perspective and humour in his newspaper medical column in The Bermuda Times.'' Dr. Robert Weinmann, president of the Union, flew to Bermuda to make the presentation to Dr. Brown, who also happens to be the Union's vice-president.

OCTOBER 1993 ELECTION