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Never say never to finding love again

Photograph by Nina LondonWonderful life: Being old doesn’t mean you can’t love anymore. Why not look forward to a bright future with someone?

“Dear Vera, you are my first and only love. I was looking for you my entire life! I had been searching for you in many cities and countries, and yet to my surprise, I met you ten years ago in the elevator of my building. My life changed at this very moment.

“I had never even thought that I could fall in love so completely and recklessly, that my heart would beat so fast, that I would be nervous like a teenager before a date with you, and that I would desire to see you every day. I never knew before that love is such a strong and beautiful feeling.

“I believe that you were sent to me by God, and I feel you are his precious gift that I have to hold carefully and lovingly and take good care of. When we are not together, my morning starts with a call to you. I want to hear your voice, and I need to know how you feel. My day ends with a conversation with you, and a good night wish. I cannot imagine my life without you. Thank you for who you are and that you are with me!”

It was such a heartfelt, sensual, emotional and beautiful toast. The most surprising thing is that it was pronounced by a 90-year-old man! While he was speaking these beautiful and special words, his eyes were sparkling, his speech quavered with excitement, his glass trembled with emotion. He had never before publicly admitted that he was in love, and it thrilled and excited him.

It happened a few days ago on my mother’s 80th birthday.

I listened to Gregory and thought about how happy I was to be a witness to the fact that one could fall in love at any age. Being old doesn’t mean that you can’t love anymore. His strong feeling of love is absolutely the same as what we experience when we are 20, 30 and 40 years old.

While his relatives and friends keep asking him about his illnesses and wellbeing, he is secretly anticipating his upcoming date.

He wonders where to find my mom’s favourite flowers — peonies — to surprise her. He thinks to buy a mango because he knows she loves them. He wants to cook a delicious meal she would enjoy. Everyone around him thinks that he is declining, but he still hopes to get married.

It is so heartbreaking and powerful. It is not the end of life, it is a wonderful life.

Why and when do we become so sceptical and stop believing in love? I often hear declarations such as: I have stopped looking; I do not have the strength to look for someone; I cannot open my heart.

Don’t you think that we often construct a prickly obstacle to love filled with our own past unsuccessful dates, unfulfilled hopes, shattered expectations, our bitter divorces?

We stop looking forward to a bright future with someone. Instead we look back, remembering past failures.

We can’t forgive and forget our grievances and frustrations, and instead peruse them every day. Often, we don’t give ourselves a chance to believe that love still exists and we still could find it. We just do not give ourselves permission to love. We are stuck in obsolete relationships that ended years ago.

I believe that we all have a small, but bright spark of hope at the very bottom of our soul. It’s the belief that somewhere there is a someone special for us. How to make it flare up, and not go out? Forgive yourself and the person you loved. Let go in peace. No matter how difficult it is to take this step, it will give a long-awaited release. You will find yourself open to a new love you never dreamt of.

Gregory sits down, his whole being still taking in Vera. Her eyes are shining with happiness. She feels his love like rays of sunshine, and I suddenly look inside her at the young girl that he sees so clearly. She is laughing and vibrant and beautiful, opening to him like a flower.

•Nina London is a certified wellness and weight-management coach. Her mission is to support and inspire mature women to make positive changes in their body and mind. Share your inspirational stories with her here: www.ninalondon.com