It is not worth even thinking about. The chances of you — or anyone else, for that matter — making it offshore this weekend are being quoted at somewhere between slim and none. What the weather will not prevent, the annual holiday festivities will. Not that there is a whole lot of incentive at the moment.

Trollers have found a few wahoo, but they have been pretty much of a disappointment. Normally, the off-season wahoo tend to be fish of decent size; say, 40lbs or better. The ones around just now are more likely to be in the teens or just over the 20lb mark. Those commercial operators who have enjoyed such success that this represents have had to cover a lot of water and that certainly puts a real damper on the profit margin.

A somewhat better proposition seems to be the East End, where the fish aren’t exactly “licking” but they are a lot closer to shore — and there are some indications that the yellowfin may be setting up to spend the winter as they have, on occasion, in the past.

The chumming down there has not been what may be called fast-paced, but there are some yellowfins in the better-than-50lb range that are willing to please. The more successful operators have managed two or three, but, with the market the way it is, they are readily saleable.

The bottom-fishing on the Banks has been fair with some quality hinds adding a bit of class to the catches. The bulk is made up of coneys and barbers, but there are enough bonitas to provide a bit of weight and those who know what they are doing can usually manage at least a couple of ambers if they have the good fortune to encounter one.

The reason here is that mid-to-large size amberjack often travel in pairs. If one is caught, the other isn’t too far away and if one was hungry enough to bite, the other must be pretty much in the same mood. Catching just such a double can vastly improve the day’s haul, so it is worth putting a bit of thought into the effort.

The action on Challenger Bank seems to have slowed a bit over the past couple of weeks, prompting some fishermen to think back to the advice from the old-timers that was almost categorically to move the fishing to Argus after Christmas. Thinking that they were dealing with sail and probably took off over the holidays, which probably had them packing in the working of Challenger by mid-December and when they resumed in January, it was time to head over to Argus. One other relevant theory is that the sudden occurrence of winter gales and the really changeable weather came in the period of October through December, so it made some sense to remain closer to home during those months. The more predictable winter weather from January onwards made the longer trip safer then.

Now, for a traditional Bermuda Christmas feast: stuffed clams as an hors d’oeuvre. Then a main course of rockfish, surrounded by scallops, Then sweet lobster pie to finish with. All washed down with bibby, the potent alcoholic beverage once made from the palmetto. Isn’t this what our ancestors indulged in?

A bit fanciful and probably not something that ever made it into the history books, simply because it did not happen. For whatever reason, the residents of this Island have always been wedded to the traditions and customs of the lands from which they sprung. Hence, the Portuguese-Bermudian holiday meal has specialities that would not be found on some of the tables that grace the homes of those deriving from the original English companies that founded the Island, although they are comparable to those served up in the Azores.

It is a bit of a mystery why not much in the way of local produce ever really made it into the local diet. True, cassava was grown here and was the original source for the Christmas and Easter cassava pies, but even then the choice of meat was chicken and pork, both of which may have been sourced locally but were certainly not endemic to the Island.

The whole thing is a bit funny. The fish were fairly obviously a staple for many years — aye, centuries — but the rest of what was available was largely ignored.

Lobsters, for instance; these did not really rate until the later 1950s or 1960s when they were suddenly found to be a lot more than just chub bait. Considering that these can be found inshore and, back in the day, on just about every rock and shoal surrounding the Island, how did they avoid exploitation for so long? It is really only in the last generation or so that the idea of having a spiny lobster dinner for Christmas office festivities has gained popularity. Especially in those cases where the firm is paying the bill.

Guinea chick lobsters were always playing second fiddle to the spiny, and the belief that they were a summertime catch largely kept them out of the holiday festivities. Slipper lobsters are uncommon enough that they are still largely ignored, although people are missing out on a rare treat.

Although Harrington Sound is really the only location where much in the way of shellfish is found, of the scallops, clams and mussels known from there, it was only the latter that supported a small commercial market. In fact, the average Bermudian has never tasted a Bermuda mussel, scallop or clam, for that matter. That they are now all protected species pretty much takes them out of the equation, but what about 100 years ago when the population was doing its best to live off the land and sea and there were not any protective laws in place for fish or shellfish?

So, as this weekend progresses, little will have changed. Oh, there will be a bit more extravagance and exotics will figure more prominently than they did 50 years ago. Tiger shrimp from the far corners of Bangladesh, fillets of tilapia from Asian farms masquerading as red snapper on the sushi platter, mussels from the cool waters of New Zealand or Nova Scotia, salmon from the lochs of Scotland or the American Pacific Northwest; all will grace our tables in some form or another.

Maybe the take-home message is our dependency on the rest of the world, whether we want to admit it or not. Beyond that, enjoy your turkey from North Carolina, ham from the Midwest, farina pie from down the Islands and plum pudding from England, all washed down with various elixirs that are truly global.

Spare a moment to be thankful for Nature’s bounty and for how fortunate we are to be able to partake of so much of it while we offer each other sincerest wishes for a Merry Christmas, hopefully to be followed shortly by Tight Lines!!!