It is 4.45 am. The baby daughter emits a few squalls; time to get up for the first baby meal of the day. In her haste, she stumbles, the sooner to quell the noise. No need to wake up child number one yet, oh, he of boundless energy. Wet diapers changed the early feeding gets under way. After hunger is satiated, in a flash, nearly an hour has passed. The baby returns to crib for another blissful nap.

It is 5.45 a.m. She is picking up speed now, attending to personal grooming; seizing the chance for a little solitude while the rest of the household slumbers on. It was a very interrupted sleep (or no sleep) night - these happen frequently, so far she feels serene, ready to project a positive attitude into her day. Their 3 year-old son sleepwalks into her arms, awakened by the change in atmosphere. He is soaking wet. In their haste to bed everyone down the night before they have forgotten to dress the boy in nighttime pull-ups. Quickly, she changes the bed sheets, the pillows, bedspread, and bathes the boy.

It is 6.30 a.m. Time to get dressed; he is intelligent and already fiercely independent. 'Let me do it. Why do I have to wear this shirt? No, I don't want to wear that raincoat. Why is it raining? Where does the water go? How does it come in the pipes? Itsy, bitsy spider….Can you read me a story?' On and on; endless questions and enormous amounts of time with small children is spent in a merry-go-round process; always it ends up back at the same thing. Why? It is hard to have patience when time is pressing on, and outside schedules need to be met.

They make breakfast; scrambled eggs with cheese. He wants to help. Out comes the kiddy step stool. He cracks the eggs; she fishes out the pieces of broken shells. 'Why are the eggs slimey? Where do they come from? My friend has two baby chicks at his house. There used to be three but one died. Why did he die? Where did he go? They break up the cheese and into the saucepan the whole concoction goes. She does not allow participation in the cooking process; he feels he is entitled - howls of protest. More time spent to explain the dangers of burning oneself.

He dawdles over the food. 'I don't want to go to school today. Why do I have to go?' She thinks of a good answer. 'Mommy has a job to do, this is your job', she says. 'What's a job?' he asks. Curious, inquisitive, intensely interested in everything, this child is like a sponge absorbing every bit of knowledge imparted, no matter how dull or trivial it may seem to us. Generally, children at this age cannot read; amazingly, every single bit of information is stored in memory for use in later discussions. Undistracted by ego, concerns about personal appearance, or social improprieties, their determined concentration and powers of observation are at their absolute peak.

It is 7.30 a.m. The baby wakes again, alert, refreshed, so excited about learning new things. She is changed, dressed. The mother holds her on one arm and in a whirl, leveraging her other arm fills the washing machine, picks up the dishes, home, pulls the beds together, and gears up the backpacks of necessities that must travel everywhere with them. It contains, at the very least, a complete change of clothing for both children, extra food, extra juice, extra water, sun block, sunhats, snacks, baby formula, diapers, wipettes, band-aids, lip balm, coloring books, keys, reading books, small toys to distract, and so on. She gives a cursory look in the mirror, appearance OK; no time for special makeup or nails today.

It is 8.15am. The children are loaded into the car, care being taken to correctly lock each one into a belted car seat. The mother is meticulously methodical about this process; our children are so precious. She starts the car, checks the baby locks, the car doors, and sets the windows open high enough so that no little arms can insert themselves out. They drive to pre-school. He has learned so much there. The teachers are vital, imaginative, caring and totally committed to the socialisation of these tiny beings.

He, who does not want to go to school, rushes to see his friends, waving his tiny backpack, oblivious now to his family. This is where the fun is, at least for the next couple of hours. The baby becomes restless and fretful. It is time for the next baby meal. And the process of raising a child starts all over again.

Exactly four hours have passed since she awoke. It seems as if she has accomplished nothing. In reality, she has one of the toughest jobs in the world. As the day passes, times becomes elusive, just a blur, feedings, workplace, children's games, reading books, laundry, child play, feedings, cleaning, meals. Suddenly, it is evening. She is exhausted. If the children bed down peacefully, maybe, just maybe, she will have a little time to herself to think, to plan for the future and have an adult conversation with her spouse.

Variations of this morning routine are played out here every day. How do single (or two) parents cope? How do they even function after sleepless nights with sick children? And yet, day after day these women not only go to work inside or outside the home, but are successful in their demanding jobs. They aspire. They watch Martha Stewart and Oprah and Trading Spaces. They want to make their house a home and their jobs a fulfilling career. Most of all, they are determined that their children will be well educated, will become responsible citizens, and will have quality of life. They (and yes, Dads, too) do all of this because they have to. They are true role models.

It is estimated that it takes about $300,000 to raise a child to adulthood. See website. That's just the financial cost. Ladies, I celebrate you, you are terrific.

@EDITRULE:

Martha Harris Myron CPA CFPr is a Bermudian, a Certified Financial Planner™(US license) practitioner and VP, Personal Financial Services at Bank of Bermuda. She holds a NASD Series 7 license, and formerly owned a US financial services practice meeting the needs of 400 individual and corporate clients.

Martha Myron answers questions on personal finance. Confidential Email can be sentto marthamyron@northrock.bm

The article expresses the opinion of the author alone, and not necessarily that of Bank of Bermuda. Under no circumstances is this advice to be taken as a recommendation to buy or sell investment products or as a promotion for financial plans. The Editor of the Royal Gazette has final right of approval over headlines, content, and length/brevity of article.