Bermuda must be one of the most beautiful places on this earth to spend my hard-earned retirement days. There are such wonderful and colourful flowers here in Bermuda all year round. However, what I had never expected, was that there would be a bonus of other beautiful flowers on this island - beautiful Bermudian women who have impacted on many folk's lives, including my own.

One of these flowers is, my Bermudian Rose, a beautiful black woman named Rose. To some of her friends she is Rose, to me "Rosie-Posie" or just "Posie". Rose has been battling cancer for a number of years and like so many other women it started in her breast. I met her at Agape House, Bermuda's wonderful little Cottage Hospice where I was working as a volunteer. Rose and I made an immediate heart connection and her courage, mindfulness and humility have been an inspiration to me. What a beautiful Bermudian flower and such a special friend she has been to me.

Rose was one of the many young black women to be sent by the Bermudian Government, on a scholarship, to the University of Toronto to study. She specialised in Child Studies and became a school teacher. She first attended university there in 1949. She returned again in 1962 to further her studies. One day when she was attending university classes she arrived at a lecture crying. Her professor spoke with her after class to find out what was troubling her. She told her that at the guesthouse where she was staying, which had been found by UoT for out-of-towners, that she was being treated just like a maid. Although a paying guest, the landlady was asking her to wait on tables and telling all the other guests, in a loud whispered voice, "To lock their bedroom doors, just in case Rose might steal something from their rooms". It was blatant discrimination and a total misunderstanding and distrust by a woman who probably had never had any previous contact with a person of colour. Rose's professor understood her intense distress and told her that she had some friends who had a very large home in a lovely area of Toronto and that she would ask them if they were interested in renting Rose a room.

That very same night she received a phone call from a lady by the name of Diana who invited her to dinner to discuss the possibility of Rose sharing their home. Diana was very mindful and straightforward and told her that she had never had any contact or dealings with black people. When Rose arrived for dinner the following Saturday at six o'clock, she was greeted by Diana and Charles her husband, and their twin daughters. They all shook her hand to greet her and the two little six-year old girls, dressed in their long red nightgowns, curtsied to welcome her! The dinner lasted until 1 a.m. the following morning. During the course of the evening it was decided that Rose would come to stay for a "ten-day try out" to see if she liked the family. This would also allow the family to see if she fitted in with them.

Forty years later Rose still goes a couple of times a year to visit her best friends in Toronto! She has her own little apartment with all of her own possessions in the very same home that she moved into for that "ten-day try out" forty years ago! She tells me the family is very wonderful people and have also visited her annually here in Bermuda. What a wonderful and very beautiful story of great understanding, mindfulness, enduring friendship and great loving kindness. A great example of the practice of the First Mindfulness Training - Reverence for Life. Not only had they all felt compassion for each other, they all had learned to express it. The family had appreciated and honoured the beauty of Rose's life and had done everything in their power to protect it.

Rose became the principal of Cedar Grove School, a school for special children in Southampton parish. This school was for children who were considered slow or who were did not fit into the regular school system. In a lot of cases the children were from homes where there was physical, emotional or mental abuse. Rose designed the actual school building and she made sure that her office was right in the centre of all school activities. Rose brought so much of her practicality, mindfulness and her loving presence to the children. She would shop, with her own money, whenever some of the children were in need of shoes or clothes. She also made sure that they had training in practical life skills, or home economics as it was called at the time. Each child could prepare a meal, sew on a button, hem a dress or put up a pair of pants, know how to use a screwdriver, a hammer, a saw and could balance a bank book. She also insisted on clean shirts or blouses, ironed pants or skirts and polished shoes whenever there was a school outing.

Rose is so very proud of her now grown-up students who have been very successful in many of Bermuda's top businesses and professions. She talks about one of her old students being the Employee of the Year twice at one of Bermuda's best-known organisations. She feels that she did make an impact on many young and not so fortunate Bermudians' lives by giving them the same understanding, mindfulness and compassion that she had been given by strangers many years before. It is sad to note that a few years after her retirement this school for children with learning challenges was closed down.

Rose's family was so very special to her. Her father was a hard working shipwright and her mother was, as she puts it, just a homemaker. Her family was one of the early black Bermudian families to own its own home in Somerset. Her mother died when Rose was just 16. She thanks God daily that her Mother was so nurturing, mindful, understanding and caring. Her Mother's paradigm enabled her to be both a sister and a mother to her younger sibling who was only ten at the time of their mother's death. Even today she often asks herself, "What would my Mother do or say in this situation? " In the teachings of mindfulness it is good to be aware that the actions of the present moment are our future.

Rose talks fondly about her Dad taking the family for picnics on the tiny islands of Bermuda and of cuddling up in bed with her Mother while she read them stories. Her father was always protective of her and proud and supportive of all the things she achieved. They always did things together as a family. Rose finds it hard to understand that today children are often "latch key children".

Her own Mother was always there to greet her when she returned home from school, or else she would tell her to meet her at her Auntie Bertha's or Aunt Dorothy's home. There was always a home-cooked meal that the whole family sat down to at same time. This was a time to share tales of their daily activities and events. It distresses Rose that today children come home alone to prepare themselves a hot dog, or something else equally quick to prepare, and then eat it all by themselves. That time around the kitchen table is so very valuable in building a family, it is a time for mindful speech and listening.

Her younger sister died, too young, on her 25th birthday of liver cancer and as Rose contemplates her own mortality she returns again and again to the valuable and mindful lessons she learned from a very supportive and loving family. For according to the Buddha's teachings and most of our great spiritual leaders, thinking is the base of everything. Without correct understanding of a situation or person, our thoughts can be misleading and create confusion, despair, anger or hatred. It is important that we put an eye of mindfulness into each of our thoughts and realise that all things "inter-are". To realise that this is, because that is. Thank you Rose for coming into my life and teaching me more about living a truly mindful life.

The Mindfulness Practice Community of Bermuda will begin meeting again the every Sunday on January 6, 2002, at 71 Victoria Street (entrance on Union Street) at 5.14 p.m. to 6.44 p.m. for mindful sitting and walking meditation, tea, mindful readings, discussion and support. Call 236-4988 or e-mail iamhomeibl.bm