There is a common misconception that children do not need as much parent involvement or supervision in Middle and High School as they do in Primary School. This is usually because parents feel they need to give their teenagers more independence or "space" to be themselves.

But, warns the Bermuda Counsellors Association (BCA), Middle and High School students can feel intimidated and even overwhelmed by their new environment and therefore need more parental involvement, not less.

Afterall besides attending classes, doing homework and signing up for extra-curricular activities, teenagers also have to deal with uncomfortable and sometimes embarrassing changes to their appearance, peer pressure, romantic crushes, self-esteem issues and even possible experimentation with drugs and alcohol.

However, the BCA believes there is another reason parents chose to remain uninvolved as members LeeAnn Simmons and Cal-Nika Bridgewater point out.

They believe parents sometimes choose to remain uninvolved in their Middle or High School children's lives because of their own attitudes toward school and school counsellors.

They explain that chances are that at some point these parents were once pupils at the same schools their children are now attending, and should they have had a bad experience, it would be hard for them to have a positive attitude toward the school for the sake of their children.

"I so wish that by just uttering that parents can find schools inviting and that school counsellors are their allies and not adversaries, that would make it so, but it is not," Ms Simmons told The Royal Gazette. "Some parents do not find schools inviting and do not feel that they can trust counsellors."

Unfortunately their children suffer because of this.

"Parents' experiences have shaped how they parent," she points out. "School personnel need to understand this and treat parents as individuals instead of a group."

She explains that parents usually associated a call from a counsellors office with something their child has done wrong. "School personnel need to send a message that all parents are welcome," she elaborates. "School personnel need to balance good news with bad."

She recalls: "I remember the shocked responses I used to get when I called parents to say their child had done well with his or her goals. This is a good news call. Hey, we all like to hear good news!"

To ensure your children have a successful school year, both women agree that parents make connection with their child's school counselling department.

Ms Simmons says the BCA encourages parents to proactively communicate with their child's school counsellor at least three times a year to best steer their child's success. "That way they can better understand their child's challenges and address any concerns that could impede success," she adds.

In an effort to help busy parents communicate more effectively with their child's school counsellor, BCA is offering five "Back to School" tips to improve this parent-counsellor dialogue:

1. Understand the expertise and responsibilities of your child's school counsellor. Ms Simmons points out that counsellors make a measurable impact in every student's life. Professional school counsellors are trained in both educating and counselling, allowing them to function as a facilitator between parents, teachers and the student in matters concerning student's goals, abilities and any areas needing improvement. "School counsellors provide services not only to students in need, but to all students," she elaborates.

2. Meet or contact your child's school counsellor at least three times a school year. Ms Simmons says the beginning of the school year is an excellent opportunity to initiate contact with your child's counsellor and doing so can ensure your child's positive school experience.

3. Discuss your child's challenges and concerns with the school counsellor. "As a parent you know your child best," Ms Simmons says. "However, the school counsellor can help you better understand your child as a student. It's important to encourage your child's expression of needs, hopes and frustrations. School counsellors are trained to help your children."

4. Learn about your child's school and social connections from the school counsellor. When you need information or assistance, your child's school counsellor can help you get in touch with the appropriate school officials, learn about school policies on behaviour, attendance and dress code; know the school calendar of important dates and stay connected with the school in many other ways. Counsellors can also help you locate resources in the community when you need them.

5. Work with the counsellor to identify resources and find solutions to problems. Ms Simmons says when children experience problems at school, parents can work with counsellors to come up with solutions. "Discuss resources available within and outside the school and get information on how such programmes can benefit your child, "she says. School counsellors are valuable partners in your child's education and preparation for life beyond school and by taking advantage of all the school counselling department has to offer, your can help your child start off on the right food — and stay there — this school year.