The strain is showing, but I’m more determined than ever
Well, the half-way mark has come and gone. I am so glad I have reached the countdown phase now. Half of me wants to continue on with the Challenge and the other half is saying “thanks for the start. I can do this at my own pace now”.
Don't get me wrong; I couldn't have got this far without my trainers, the gym facility or my co-challengers. What I am saying though is that I am constantly worrying about the Challenge. Everywhere I go I have to look closely at what I eat so close it makes no sense even going out to eat. Trying to do everyday things like cooking for my family is a task in itself. My husband is from Jamaica and cooks and eats differently from me now that I have to eat ‘clean' food.
This is not to say other food is dirty, but it's all about how it is cooked. I cannot appreciate the butter, salt and additional oils that are used in cooking and preparing food. I miss Brown Stew chicken the most. As a prime example the chicken is seasoned and then fried to seal in the flavour (frying is a big ‘No-No' for participants in the Challenge). After the chicken is fried, it is then put into a pot with the rest of the ingredients with the additions of water, butter and a few other secret ingredients. The broth is then cooked down to half quantity to concentrate the flavour. I will have to do a whole lot of tweaking to the recipe if I am to ever eat Brown Stew Chicken again. It is not only the eating restrictions that make me sometimes feel I want to continue the Challenge at my own pace. It's the other everyday household tasks that pile up as well. I try to go to the gym every day and after working out I don't feel like doing anything but going to bed. So sometimes the laundry sits there longer than usual before it gets done, or dinner doesn't get cooked (at least not by me) so my family suffers (in silence, though, because they know what I'm doing in not easy). I can truly say that I am not the only one feeling this way either. I can see it in other people from the other gyms as well. The strain is showing. They are having meltdowns on camera at boot camps or they are complaining about everything that we are asked to do. Sometimes I think some of us forget that this is a reality show and the reality may not be our reality but what we feel is real for us.
So on the whole, I say, let's just keep it as real as we can for ourselves and do our best. It's tough, being a Challenge participant, but in spite of the way I sometimes feel, I am still determined to try to give my all as much as I can, when I can. Go Sea View Challengers!