Dorian Tucker became interested in the plight of Bermuda’s young men while working as a corrections officer for 33 years.

“I got to see 16-year-olds come in on life sentences,” he said. “As my career progressed I saw them reach their thirties and be paroled.”

Talking with them he found there was a common problem: absent fathers.

“I would say your mother, granny and aunt come to see you every week,” he said. “When was the last time you had a conversation with your father? They would just break down. There would be tears. There was this yearning for a father.”

He believes absent or ill-equipped fathers are behind a lot of Bermuda’s gang problems.

“During my career I have really seen the rise of gang activity starting in the 1980s,” he said. “By 2012 it had really ramped up.”

He said many of Bermuda’s gangs are just a collection of young men looking for father figures.

“They are trying their best to figure out who they are in the world,” he said. “They want to be a part of something, especially with other males.”

He also grew up with a difficult father.

“I grew up in a two-parent home, but my father drank,” he said. “He would make it to work in the morning, but would stop off to drink on the way home. He thought it was his job to provide, and that was it. My mom did everything.”

Mr Tucker’s father had him mixing drinks for his mates, when Mr Tucker was just 11.

“It was a way to feel close to him,” said Mr Tucker, 58. He did well in school, but there was no talk of college.

“It was about going out to work when I finished school so I could contribute to the family,” he said.

At 21 he joined the Bermuda Prison Service. “The other prison officers were all older than me, and so were the inmates,” he said.

“The inmates definitely tested me because of my age. There were many little fights.”

It caused him to grow up in a hurry. As time went on, he learnt that the only difference between himself and many of the inmates, was that he had made better decisions in his life.

He also had a positive role model in the form of his martial arts teacher, the late Frederick “Skipper” Ingham.

“He was a rough teacher, but in my late teens and early twenties I really needed that,” Mr Tucker said. “I built my confidence up through martial arts. I competed in many international tournaments and was a black belt by 1988. After that I became busy with my career.”

Mr Tucker married at 22, and had two children within a four-year span, Justin and Jordan.

“At first I was doing everything my father did,” he said. “I did the drinking thing at the Prison Officer’s Recreational Club.”

One night he came home from an evening of partying and picked up his four-year-old son.

“My breath bounced off his face and came back to me, and all I smelt was alcohol,” Mr Tucker said. “It reminded me of my father.”

It was a wake-up call. He was determined to give his son and daughter better childhoods than his. From that point on, he was at every violin lesson and PTA meeting.

When his son wanted to play baseball, he became the coach, even though he knew nothing about the sport. When his daughter started dating, he insisted on meeting every boy.

As he took on management roles in the prison, he started to research leadership, and wondered how it could be applied to the home. The idea that he might be able to help male dysfunction, was growing on him.

“At 3am I would be waking up in tears, not knowing what to do about the problem of young men in the community,” he said. “I wanted to help. I knew there was a need.”

Sometimes single mothers would ask him to speak with their wayward sons.

“I would speak to the son and most times they were acting out because their father was not in their life,” he said. “The sons just did not know what to do with themselves, and they were tired of hearing their mothers.”

After retiring a few years ago he started taking training courses.

“I did Scars [Saving Children and Revealing Secrets]) training,” he said. “I did domestic violence training, and I was the only male there out of 15 women. I also hooked up with Family Centre and did their therapeutic crisis intervention training.”

He also received a certificate in leadership, speaking and coaching from the International Maxwell Conference in Orlando, Florida, this year.

This was after taking an online course with the conference’s founder John C. Maxwell, a leadership expert who has written more than 90 books on the topic.

In 2020, Mr Tucker started making presentations on the needs of young men in the community, for organisations such as the Women’s Resource Centre and the Transformational Living Centre.

“I decided to target it towards single mothers, since I thought there were already organisations talking to the boys themselves,” he said. “I explain the different phases that boys go through in their lives. I try to give an opinion from a man’s point of view.”

He wants men to see how their role is important in the house and to their children. “I also want men to see their importance in raising daughters,” he said.

On December 2, he will be offering the Leaders Develop Leaders workshop for men.

“This is for anybody who has a child, especially a son, and they are struggling to figure out what is going on with them,” Mr Tucker said. “It is for men over 20. It is not the general, ‘this is the way you do it’, but I have something to add to the conversation.”

The venue will be the Chamber of Commerce boardroom at 1 Point Pleasant Road in Hamilton, next to the ferry terminal. The cost is $10 per person, payable at the door.

Mr Tucker is also willing to speak to organisations such as parent teacher associations and church groups.

• For more information e-mail theduke1965@hotmail.com or call 737-2207