Oi, fatty, it wouldn’t kill you to walk to KFC – The Royal Gazette | Bermuda News, Business, Sports, Events, & Community

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Oi, fatty, it wouldn't kill you to walk to KFC

In what TCD Driver's Handbook does it say that Bermudians have a right to double park wherever they please? And where does it say that when you double park that you can look as smug as you like, so that you're even more irritating to the person stuck behind you?

Here I am travelling up Queen Street where I come to an abrupt halt. Why? Because I got a big SUV double parked, and not double parked next to another car but, now, get this ... double parked next to an empty parking bay! So I'm stuck behind this inconsiderate idiot waiting to cross to the other lane when out of the offending SUV rolls ten ton, slow-moving Tessy making her way to KFC to get her weekly bucket of chicken fix. It is evident that Tessy has spent many a night devouring that finger-lickin' good chicken.

Believe me when I say this honey it ain't kill ya to park at City Hall and take a few steps dawn de hill. Then maybe you can justify that fifth chicken leg.

So I lean on my horn, holding my hands up in protest. Tessy retaliates by flipping me the bird ... and I'm not talking about the kind of birds served at Colonel Saunders' joint, I'm talking about a full middle finger salute.

Okay I'm too old to be getting irritated. It isn't good for my heart. Finally I managed to negotiate into the next lane, then for flip sake, I get stuck behind another idiot double parked dropping off his video tapes. Again I lean on the horn and I get the shoulder shrug as if to say 'Hey what's your problem?' So now I'm stuck again and what makes it more irritating is that there's a kid in that back seat of that car facing me blowing spit bubbles. So now there are two people in that car I want to give a good slapping to.

Some Bermudians seem to take this double parking as a God-given right. They double park outside banks to use the ATM machines. They double park outside businesses waiting for their honey to finish work. They even double park to load up their groceries. All because we're too lazy and inconsiderate to find a parking spot.

I say enough is enough! We're tired of your thoughtless ways. Your don't give a damn attitude about any other road users. Let's band together us considerate drivers. Let's start to use those horns more often. Let's start using that colourful language you have always wanted to use and give 'em hell!

• What annoys you? Tell this Grumpy Old Man, e-mail grumpyoldman@royalgazette.bm

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Published February 13, 2012 at 5:00 am (Updated February 12, 2012 at 4:54 pm)

Oi, fatty, it wouldn't kill you to walk to KFC

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