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Sick of listening to other people on the phone? Join the queue

Standing in line can be one of the most annoying things we have to do and yet a necessary part of everyday life. For example, we stand in bank lines where someone has got eight to ten cheques to cash all the monies have to be counted; all have to be put in envelopes and sealed. Or, you're standing at the cashier in a shop and the person in front is determined to give the exact change, so all the change is poured out onto the counter from their change purse, every coin is examined on both sides and every penny is counted. Even worse, standing behind someone in a supermarket who doesn't have enough money and are trying to justify to themselves what they should keep and what they should put back. Aarrgh! Enough already! So how could one make this drudgery of everyday life more unbearable? Well how about, "Hey gurrrl shutya mouf"? Yes, the person standing behind you is on a cellphone. An absolute stranger who, in the next ten minutes, has shared with me every personal aspect about their private life. It didn't take me long to find out that the kid behind me was at "de hospittle after taking a deck" or the guy in front of me, Ace Boy, who stays up de country is going to a sashun tonite to check out 'a bit of skirt on de side'. Now don't take this the wrong way, but the females ... well, the females are the worst ones on cellphones. They are louder than then us males, that's for sure. You don't have to be standing next to them to know what the latest line of clothes Cooper's or Jazzy's has just got in, or that that cute boy Roger, was talking to that stuck-up girl Bridget, from around Bay. Banning the use of cellphones while operating a vehicle was finally enforced a few months ago, and that's good cause it's distracting and dangerous. However using cellphones in public while in close quarters with other people that has its own dangers. You see, by nature some people are pokey; they want to know your business, and what is proving to be perilous is that most people can't be pokey and stay in line at the same time. I walked into the bank the other day and to get in the queue, I had to navigate my way through the red velvet rope-thingy for two minutes before getting anywhere reasonably close to the bank teller. Lo and behold, I find myself standing behind a women who is, yes ... you guessed it ... on a cellphone. Now I realise that the conversation has got to be good, cause the lady in front of our cellphone user is trying desperately to listen. It's obvious that she's leaning back slightly to hear the conversation better. From what I could make out, the phone conversation was about some co-worker who had just become pregnant. This was clearly a gem of information to our eavesdropper, but while she was listening the line moved. And because our pokey friend wasn't paying attention, she moved too right over the red velvet rope-thingy and with a smack, she hit the floor. So you see, the use of cellphones even in a stationary position can be hazardous to your health!

What ticks you off ? email me:

grumpyoldman@royalgazette.bm