Steps to Success‘Luddite’ might be a bit strong, but I sheepishly admit, technology isn’t my strong suit. My head somewhat struggles to wrap itself around the hows and wherefores of Tweets and Links, not to mention the Pokes (which just sound rude). But as my coaching business expands, I realise there is no escaping the necessity of tuning in to social media and the host of other tech assistants that are part of modern business practice. So, how can I best compensate for my limited computer savvy? One option is to ask for, dare I say it … help.I know that I’m not alone in sometimes being a bit slow asking for a hand. We can create a slew of imagined reasons why not to. Here are some examples:1. Asking for help can feel like admitting we can’t handle something. There is seemingly this attitude that we have to be able ‘do it all’, and that we don’t measure up if we can’t.2. We fear it may look like a sign of weakness to managers or others who may use it against us3. For me it’s often a control issue … protecting ‘my project’, wanting it ‘my way’4. Perhaps we’re afraid to speak up, don’t know how to ask or where to begin to find the help we need5. There is sometimes the misguided perception that we don’t deserve to get help6. It may be a conditioned response to just quit at the first hurdle and so we’ve never realised what a little help might do for us7. A fear of rejection can lurk if we worry about the outcomes if someone refuses to help us8. Have you ever waited for someone to come and save you, to magically recognise you’re in trouble and be just the right person to fix it?9. Excuses like ‘I can’t afford the time or money’ keep us stuck, avoiding help.But how much in time and resources are we wasting, floundering around trying to do everything ourselves because pride or fear or habit stops us from seeking the help we require? Just one small example, I lost a whole working day messing around trying to put together a PowerPoint presentation that would probably have taken an IT person about half and hour!Whether there’s some skill that you could either do with sharpening-up or outsourcing, or there’s something you want to accomplish but you can’t do on your own, or you need a practical hand, a listening ear, guidance or support etc — to offset the fears we might hold about it, here are some truths about asking for help:1. For all sorts of reasons, we all need a little help sometimes (even those who look like they don’t).2. Asking for help when it’s needed is considered a sign of maturity and confidence. Nobody gets a medal for not asking for help!3. Addressing and getting help where we fall short can lead to much greater productivity and better use of resources, utilising everyone’s best skills and abilities.4. The process of finding the best help for our needs can take several attempts but if someone cannot assist they are often well placed to suggest someone who can.5. Part of a strong and healthy self-esteem is accepting where we have room for improvement, and that we are all works in progress6. Patterns can be interrupted and reconditioned and if what we’ve been doing in the past has not been successful for us, new behaviours like asking for help can lead to new results.7. It’s a compliment to be asked to help as it shows appreciation for their skills and often people are more willing to share their advice and knowledge than one might think.8. People are not mind readers.9. Can we afford the inefficiencies and waste due to not getting the help we need? Help could mean investing in improving our skills or utilising someone else’s. T. Harv Eker, author of Secrets of the Millionaire Mind: Mastering the Inner Game of Wealth (HarperCollins 2005) recommends dedicating 10% of our available monthly income to our continuing education, growth and development. Sometimes the help we need can be found among friends or colleagues. Bartering and reciprocal arrangements can be negotiated to achieve win/win helping situations, but first we have to ask for it.Top Tips for getting the help you need, when you need it:* Don’t wait until it’s absolutely necessary to get help, because this may be too late. Sometimes the right help can take time to find or organise.* Ask for help directly and be precise about what you need — If you just say ‘I need help with my car’, someone might replace carburettor while it’s indicator light that’s broken.* Be prepared to step outside your comfort zone. As we’ve seen, asking for help can be laden with associated concerns but whether venturing into a new area of business, or taking any endeavour to the next level, there is a learning curve involved so prepare to feel a little uncomfortable at times, during the process.* Facilitate your own help — handle the logistics where possible. If it is not a professional arrangement, beware that even when others have sincerely offered to help, if it’s not their priority it might slip off their radar. Find the balance with gentle reminders and check-ins (avoiding irritating nagging) to keep your request in the picture. And it is useful to have a time frame with a plan B in mind, in case your helper has overextended themselves (which is usually nothing personal to you) and cannot deliver within your deadline.* Notice how good it feels when you can help another person. Chances are the person you are asking might feel just as good to be helping you.* Avoid guilt-tripping anyone into helping — otherwise it will likely be a short-lived helping relationship.* Practice gratitude and graciousness for the help we receive. I’d certainly like to thank all the people who support and inspire me, keep me sane, help me strategise, give great advice and feedback, are great role models … your help is so greatly appreciated and worth asking for.Just like I wouldn’t cut my own hair, try to fix my car or perform surgery on myself … we all have to know not only our strengths but also our limitations. And when we’ve identified them, there is no shame in getting the help we need, when we need it.I’ve even discovered a friend who loves social media and have unabashedly asked her to help me set up a business Facebook account (and learn how to really use it!). She says it’ll be fun?!The help you need for your success is out there, you just need to ask.Julia Pitt is a trained Success Coach and certified NLP practitioner. For further information contact Julia on (441) 705-7488, www.juliapittcoaching.com (Facebook details coming soon!)