Got a problem? Maybe Carla can help
Dear Carla: I teach primary school aged children and while I don’t really need advice, I feel I needed to share the following so people can get an inside glimpse of some of the things I have to deal with in the classroom.
The assignment one morning was for each student to write five engaging sentences about their weekend; begin each sentence a new way.
As the students write, I walk around and mark or assess their use of language, choice of words, sentence structure, etc.
Student 1: My aunt and her boyfriend got into a fight. They fought so much that I was worried. When I went to church I prayed for them. I got back home and they were still fighting. Last time when they got into a fight, he stabbed her and she had to go to the hospital. Is he going to stab her again this time?
Student 2: My mom and her boyfriend got into a major fight. My mom and I are finding a new place to stay. We are staying in the hotel right now. It was fun because there was a big flat screen TV. I hope we can take it with us when we find a new place to stay.
Student 3: I went to see my grandpa this weekend. He is going to die. The doctor said the cancer is in his lungs. My mom was crying really bad this time. It hurts me to see her cry, so I’m not going to cry. I want to be brave for her and my sister.
Student 4: My weekend was horrible. I was sick and just couldn’t get better. I want to be at home to rest, but I can’t. There are 14 people living in my house. When one person gets sick, everyone gets sick.
Times have changed and some days are just soooo hard and depressing when I’m doing all I can for them, I feel like its still not enough.
Dear Educator: Out of the mouth of babes! And the sad part is that what they have shared is probably just a minute glimpse into the myriad experiences they have endured. While I am sure you make the necessary referrals to get your students help, make sure that you have a healthy outlet as well before you have a breakdown. Thank you for sharing.
Dear Carla: I have had two men who I loved very much die; one from cancer and the other from a heart attack. After many months of grieving and self-repair, I am now ready to move on with my life — I am used to being married and do not enjoy the single life. I have been real particular and cautious about who I have allowed to become close to me because I do not want to either hurt anyone or be hurt myself. I also have some particular criteria. I am a mature woman, in good physical condition, attractive, Christian, financially stable who is looking for a companion who is Christ led, my age, financially stable, takes care of himself and who can be a fun loving partner. I prayed very carefully about this and I also allowed for the possibility that God might have another purpose for me that does not include another life partner. Well, lo and behold — I have met someone. There is a man in my church who I never really noticed before who fits every criteria I prayed for. I asked a mutual married friend to introduce us and to my surprise, she refused, doesn’t want to get in the middle of it. I thought that she was only kidding with me. I therefore got up the courage and made contact with the man myself and we went on a date.
He was the perfect “old school” man that I am used to — he opens car doors, holds your chair, brought me flowers, and so on. We hit it off instantly! I called my friend to tell her what a great time I had, she didn’t respond. When I asked her what was wrong, she said what I did was inappropriate and aggressive. I don’t see how. I completely lost it and said a few things to her. We haven’t spoken since. I consider this woman my best friend and am totally confused by her reaction. I am not prepared to stop seeing this man — so is my friendship over?
Dear Dating: When you feel the dust has settled between you and your friend, reach out go her and see if the two of you can meet for coffee or lunch to discuss the entire situation. Ask her why did she feel that way. Although it may hurt, see if she will share why she thinks you were being aggressive. Maybe she’s of the mindset that women should not pursue men and your intentions were unladylike. Maybe she knows something about him that you may not and was simply trying to be a protective friend. Let her know how well the date went as well so she can see that you being proactive actually worked to your benefit.
Do you have something you want to discuss with Carla? E-mail firstname.lastname@example.org
2. Please respect the use of this community forum and its users.
3. Any poster that insults, threatens or verbally abuses another member, uses defamatory language, or deliberately disrupts discussions will be banned.
4. Users who violate the Terms of Service or any commenting rules will be banned.
5. Please stay on topic. "Trolling" to incite emotional responses and disrupt conversations will be deleted.
6. To understand further what is and isn't allowed and the actions we may take, please read our Terms of Service