This was the message delivered at the Employee Assistance Programme of Bermuda's 12th annual luncheon meeting held yesterday at the Hamilton Princess.

And keynote speaker, Jennifer Read Hawthorne -- founder of Jennifer Hawthorne Inc. and The Esteem Group, an organisation that specialises in inspirational and self-esteem programmes for women, and co-author of the best selling "Chicken Soup for the Woman's Soul'' -- spoke about why chicken soup is essential.

"The question I'm often asked is, why chicken soup for the soul in the first place,'' said Ms Hawthorne. "If I had to answer that question in one word, I'd say stress. Let's face it, we live in a stressed-up world.'' She listed five of the major stresses that humans deal with on a daily basis: the workplace; time; finances; children, and relationships.

And she shared with the audience the key ingredients to chicken soup.

The first ingredient of chicken soup for the soul is a high self-esteem and a positive attitude, she noted.

She also listed the most important factors affecting self-esteem in an adult's life.

Factors such as looks, money, job performance, age and others' opinions play an important role in how high or low an adult's self-esteem may be, she said.

"The thing that all these factors have in common are that they are external,'' Ms Hawthorne said. "They are changing. Let's face it, looks change, relationships change, possessions change, jobs change, status changes.

All these things change.'' She emphasised the differences in the way women and men exhibit self-esteem.

"Women tend to base their self-esteem on looks, age and relationships,'' she said. "You know this is true for men and women alike. In America, women spend one million dollars per hour on cosmetics. None of us are exempt from this.

And in the weight loss industry, $33 billion a year in the US alone.'' Ms Hawthorne spoke about the differences that men and women deal with stress.

"When women are on the very lowest end of our self-esteem, we tend to internalise,'' she said. "We take everything inward and in extreme cases, this can manifest as depression.

"Now men, on the other hand, suffering the extremes of low self-esteem tend to move outward, they externalise everything, they blame everything. In the extreme that can manifest as violence.'' The average person has 60,000 thoughts per day and out of those thoughts, 80 percent of them are negative, Ms Hawthorne said.

"If 80 percent of your 60,000 thoughts everyday are negative, how do you feel at the end of the day? Exhausted, frustrated, irritable? That's because there is an intimate connection between the mind and the body,'' she said.

The second ingredient for chicken soup of the soul is to give love, support and appreciation, Ms Hawthorne noted.

"A research company came into a corporation and surveyed them as to what they thought were the most important factors which motivate their employees,'' she said. "They (the managers) said obviously good wages was the most important.

Then they asked the employees what they thought was the most important factor.

They listed appreciation as their highest motivation.'' The third ingredient of chicken soup of the soul is a sense of humour, she continued.

"When we smile or laugh we actually emit chemicals in the system known as endorphins which create a sense of well-being,'' she said. "They are very good for health as well as for mind and the emotions.