Not so long ago, we were told that the Internet would change our whole lives. Almost: we now spend what seems like most of our lives staring at screens big and small. We all know the news simultaneously. We can e-mail each other about how awful things are. We blog. We tweet. We twitter. We Digg. We IM. We are Linkedin and we log out. It's a miracle that anything gets done.

Most of that is froth. More importantly, the Internet has changed money. In a number of ways, money is a different commodity today from the one it was a dozen years ago. The Internet has certainly changed retail banking; the news that current accounts are to be phased out by 2018 underlines the change.

The demise of the old ways has been hastened by online banking. Widely embraced in Bermuda and everywhere else it is available, online banking and ATM machines mean that no one need stand in line any more for most transactions. Online has replaced in line.

The ability to transfer money online to and from one's accounts anywhere at any time was made available first to corporations, but now anyone can have that service. It has attracted some 60 percent of the British retail market. I don't have the figures for Bermuda, but I'd put it somewhere near half. Paying bills was never easier technologically, just as finding the money to pay them has never been harder. Dealing in stocks was once the preserve of the stockbroker. Now individuals and companies are able to trade securities online. In Britain, 90 percent of share transactions are now carried out online, although I can't decide what that figure means.

Ultimately, all transactions are carried out online, either in part or in their entirety. The web has changed the way we shop. It affords the widest possible range of choices, and enables price comparison. Just about anything for sale anywhere in the world can be delivered to you with a few mouse clicks. You can usually tell just what you're buying and dictate when and where it is delivered, if you have the necessary resources.

E-Bay and other auction sites I've never heard of have created a greatly more efficient second-hand market for stuff you didn't know you wanted, but now feel you must have. The auction process is exhilarating and it is possible to find precious things among a community that seems more honest than the general one in which we all live. (I may just have had good luck.)

People are rushing home to go online at certain hours to book particular seats on aircraft that have more leg room than other seats. Other people buy their music online and wouldn't know a stylus if it scratched them on the schnozz. Online gambling means that whatever happens in Las Vegas, you'll never know about it, because you're on the couch in your smalls hoping to make a killing on a poker website.

In poorer economies than Bermuda's, electronic coupons are all the rage as a means of saving money. Before going shopping, one prints off savings vouchers from the relevant websites, reducing the cost of purchases. There was something infra-dig about this practice when the coupons were delivered in newspapers, but apparently hip young things are busy printing out vouchers and saving $1 here and 39 cents there. Pretty soon, it adds up, to $1.39.

A quick final thought: The Internet has changed our social relationships. Many of them have become plagued by rudeness. Whenever a cell phone rings, an angel gets her wings, which is fine. The problem is that one conversation has to stop to allow a fresh one to begin. The party of the first conversation now has to sit there like a lemon for a while. People sit there like lemons because they know that their turn will come and someone else will have to sit there like a lemon while they pretend to have an important conversation. It's a vicious circle.

When I was a lad, that kind of behaviour would have earned you a biff on the beezer, and well-deserved at that. Now, "I gotta take this call" leaves one on hold, usually without a magazine to read. It's not acceptable. If you do that to people with your beastly cell phone, shame on you. Stop it at once.

Disclaimer: I'm not saying that saving $1.39 is a bad thing. Far from it. I am merely questioning the whole notion of spending time printing coupons. There's the cost of the ink and the cost of the time. Time is money, and all that. For $1.39, the costs may be much higher.

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To my great dismay, I missed the Royal Visit. Apparently, a failsafe system exists under which, when Her Majesty is in Bermuda, I am required to be in London. It must have something to do with international stability, making sure that at least one person in London has a clue, that sort of thing. I mention this only because, had I been on the Island, I too would have lined the streets.

The pink carpet was a nice touch. No, I'm not going to say it.