at times.

Naturally, you will be concerned if your child does not eat as you expect her to; a child senses this concern and learns, at an early age, how to use food to control you.

A child soon discovers that refusing to eat can get her more attention than anything else she does: it makes no difference to your child whether you get angry or upset, it is attention that can get her what she wants! It is better to ignore such behaviour to avoid mealtime battles.

To build good eating habits and avoid feeding problems, here are some ideas to help you set the stage.

Be a team. It is important that parents (or other members of the household) agree on food and feeding issues.

A child will not do well with eating (or anything else) when parents are not supportive of each other.

To form a positive feeding relationship requires that a parent recognise and respect a child's feeding cues that indicate hunger, fullness, and food preference.

Parent's responsibility Plan and prepare healthy meals and snacks.

Present food in a positive and supportive fashion.

Have a regular meal time.

Agree on food issues.

Child's responsibility How much to eat.

Can choose what to eat.

Behave at table.

Sit at table even if not eating.

Your child's appetite will vary from day to day. He/she knows, better than you, how much his/her body needs and will eat according to his/her hunger level.

Recognise your child's hungriest times and use the Food Guide to help you plan his/her meals. Encourage him/her to eat more fruits, vegetables and whole grain breads and cereals. Avoid too many high fat foods and snacks.

If he/she chooses not to eat at all, let him/her wait until the next scheduled meal or snack before of fering more food. He/she wont' starve.

Not eating for a while will give her the message that he/she cannot turn down spaghetti and expect to get cookies an hour later! Happy family mealtimes It is hard with busy schedules to have family meals, but do try. Mealtime is an important time for the family to get together as a unit.

Eating together is a time for family sharing as well as providing role models for trying new foods, and learning table manners.

Studies show that children who do well at school are those who regularly eat meals with their family.

Mealtimes should be a time for relaxation and pleasure. It is not the time to reprimand, criticise, coax, lecture or discuss topics guaranteed to upset your child.

Your child's appetite can be easily ruined by an unpleasant atmosphere.

Setting limits Positive discipline, not criticism, works for improving mealtime behaviour.

Set reasonable limits about behaviour at the table and what will happen if she does not do as you wish. Shouting at or hitting your child will not help.

Do not force your child to eat Gently encourage your child to eat. Do not bribe, blackmail, punish or deprive your child to try to force him/her to eat.

A child who is forced to eat when he/she does not want to will associate hunger with anxiety, instead of with pleasurable anticipation.

Such methods hinder the formation of good eating habits and turn mealtimes into battles. Accept his or her right to refuse and continue mealtime as if nothing has happened.

Clear his/her plate away as usual without comment. Do not offer him/her something else instead. Be prepared to see your child go hungry for a few days.

When your child refuses to eat, try to determine why. Has he or she had a snack too close to mealtime? Is he/she asserting himself/herself? Is he/she seeking attention? Or is he/she just not hungry? Establish healthy eating habits Remember, forcing a child to eat is counter-productive, and can lead to negative attitudes about food in your child as well as frustration in yourself.

Increasing acceptance of new foods It is important to realise that most food preferences are learned. Most children dislike food when they taste it for the first time.

So introduce new foods one at a time, in small amounts, along with other foods they likes.

Simply offer the new food and let your child try it or ignore it.

The more often a child is exposed to a food, the greater the chance that he/she will try it and slowly learn to like it, even if he/she refused it at first. Remember your child is entitled to dislike some foods, too! Allow your child to become the cook; the more he/she helps in preparing food, the more likely he/she is to eat it, too! Drinking from a cup Teaching your child to drink from a cup is an important step in his/her development. Your child should be drinking from a cup by 12 to 15 months of age.

Extended use of the bottle may result in feeding problems. It may also delay or alter the development of speech production and cause tooth decay.

The longer you delay using the cup, the more attached to the bottle your child will become, and the harder it will be to break the habit.

Ensure your child drinks water when he/she is thirsty, do not allow him/her to fill up on juice or sugary drinks, such as Koolaid.

Establish realistic and healthy eating habits for your child by providing a well-balanced diet and letting him/her do the rest -- regulating his/her food intake based on his/her own internal cues of hunger, appetite and fullness.

Food guide for the pre-schooler To be well nourished, your child needs foods from the five food groups each day. Child-size servings are suggested, as it is best to offer small servings and let your child ask for more.

Too large servings can be the beginning of over-eating and other feeding problems.

An easy guide to minimum serving sizes for children is: one tablespoon of cooked food for each year of a child's age.