and reality.

Then add traditional and family expectations, and the media pressure to do it all in style, and we have a prime recipe for stress.

During this Christmas people will be reviewing their lives, simply because it's the millennium. Those who are isolated or depressed may need emotional support.

Partner relationships especially may come under the spotlight, with calls to relate up by as much as 50%.

Questions over how to spend Christmas can symbolise bigger issues and problems in relationships.There may also be a delicate balance between our immediate needs, and desire to maintain family ties.

Complicated families especially need to plan and negotiate, perhaps starting with a big family 'round-table', and partners should also take some time out together.

The cost of presents may also be a family worry, at a time of increasing consumer debt.

Blame the Wise Men for setting a bad example, with that flashy gold and frankincense! Unfortunately it's easy to confuse personal worth with money and possessions.

Very young children don't have this confusion, and can be as charmed by the wrapper as the contents.

Older children may have spent months in a froth of expectation, whipped up by advertising. Help them be realistic, perhaps even setting a budget.

Then add magic with small surprise gifts, something silly and fun, or really grown-up.

Gifts for adults can reflect how they want them to feel -appreciated, cared for, and special to you.

Focus on their personal interests, or those little luxuries they wouldn't allow themselves, or a gift from their favourite charity. Or simply express affection directly.

However we choose our gifts, we all know that last-minute shopping is hell.

Mail order is easy, and can get everything sorted weeks in advance, while perhaps supporting your favourite charity.

For those with access to the internet, on-line shops can help you avoid the high street crush.

However you decide to shop, leave plenty of time for inevitable hitches, and to enjoy the wrapping process.

And if you usually end up doing it all, maybe it's time to make some major changes, persuading partners to take responsibility for their own gift choices.

Food shopping and cooking also tend to fall on the super-parent of the house.

You may enjoy a Christmas cooking marathon. But if it's just another chore, don't let yourself do the martyr thing. Plan, delegate, and shamelessly cut corners.

The stores will be stuffed with an increasing range of ready meals, and good quality festive items.

Ask if home delivery is possible if you are pushed for time.

You can always add your own touch with a garnish or last-minute addition - liqueur or exotic fruits, fresh herbs or unusual salads.

If home-made's the only thing, perhaps share the cooking duties with friends or family, making full use of anybody's freezer space.

When it comes to the holiday itself, family tensions can get to breaking point. There's lots we can do to make it easier for everyone.

For example, be sensitive to those who find Christmas difficult, but remember your own needs too, and perhaps take regular time out.

And don't forget exercise and laughter, the great stress busters. However trying families are, those on their own can find it even more difficult.

If possible book a Christmas sun-break or activity holiday, or volunteer for a helping project. At least plan some activities where you'll be with others, to enjoy a Christmas service or concert, or just see a film.

Or get stocked up for a major craft or special task. It might also tide you over that peculiar limbo before New Year, when it seems life might never be normal again.

Remember the true meaning of Christmas. Not rows of waiting in long lines and exhaustion, but a time of peace and goodwill.

Christmas stress : Keep your cool during the busy holiday season and avoid headaches.