life events and revitalise and enhance their coping abilities to more effectively adapt to and cope with future stressful life events.

Such groups are particularly appropriate for battered women, as an adjunct to or an alternative to other available helps, or as a follow-up, to reinforce and extend their positive experiences. Furthermore, support groups, because of their flexible non-authoritarian structure allow members considerable scope and freedom to choose discussion topics and group activities according to their own priorities.

The Physical Abuse Centre support groups operate from four basic assumptions: 1: The battered woman herself is the only expert on her own situation. Her description of what is happening to her, and her own perspectives about it constitute the starting point of group work, and continue to be its main focus.

2: The physical abuse of an individual woman by an individual man is an extreme representation of male violence toward women in general.

3: Women who remain in abusive relationships do so for a variety of very good reasons, none of which is because they enjoy being abused. The woman who is battered is not naturally masochistic, passive, crazy or a fool. If she displays some of the symptoms generally associated with mental illness, it is because she is abused and rightfully fearful. The objective circumstances of her life make her evidence ambivalence perfectly understandable.

4: With adequate respect, support, and information, most battered women can and will take charge of their own lives, and capably care for their children.

they must not be expected to save, control, or be responsible for, or accountable to the men who batter them.

In their intimate relationships with their abusers, many battered women have experienced extreme social isolation, enforced isolation from other women, and debilitating loss of self-esteem. The Physical Abuse Centre support group offers a safe, non-judgmental meeting group where battered women can begin to talk about their common experiences without being labelled sick or stupid, without being blamed for their partners' abusive behaviour towards them. It is in the support group, among her peers, that a woman might first realise that she is "not the only one', that she is a worthwhile person, and that she might have some options after all. Group support enables a woman to discover, define and exercise her options, in her own way and in her own right, with increasing confidence.

It is here also, in the support group, that women may first recognise the broader societal environment in which their battering occurs, and begin connecting women's experience in particular. This awareness of her position in a scheme of things has a "freeing up'' effect on most women. It allows them to absolve themselves of total responsibility for their victimisation and to unburden themselves of any overwhelming sense of personal failure.

Finally, the support group offers a forum for the change of useful information. The group facilitators have access to factual knowledge not readily accessible to the general public. They can impart information about services and resources useful to the women in their groups, what can and cannot be expected of various agencies and professionals, how the criminal justice system (and family law) is supposed to work, and where to go for help with specific problems. In addition, the women themselves have information to exchange regarding their own experiences with these various agencies, services and professionals -- what has and has not worked for them, and why they think this is so.

To Our Readers: Does your partner discourage your relationships with family and friends? Are you stalked or forced to account for all your time? Does your partner constantly accuse you of being unfaithful? Does your partner insult or humiliate you in front of others? Are you forced to be intimate against your will? Are you prevented from working or attending school? Does your partner destroy personal or sentimental items? Is your money taken away, or are you never given any? Does your partner act threatening to you or your children? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you could be in an abusive relationship. For more information about our support groups contact Ms Nina Jones, Counsellor at The Physical Abuse Centre 292-4366.

The Physical Abuse Centre is a part of The Family Resource Network Charitable Trust, which comprises the Coalition for The Protection of Children, The Institute of Child and Family Health, P.A.R.E.N.T.s. and The Fathers' Resource Centre.

The Agencies joined in 1998 to better serve Bermuda's families with a common goal and shared vision.