September 2, 2007

I READ recently that Bermuda resident Michael Douglas was in talks with director Oliver Stone to make a sequel to their Oscar-winning collaboration Wall Street.

Well, since Mr. Douglas likes to stay close to home these days, here's an idea for a Bermuda-based storyline. Why not have Douglas' predatory Gordon Gekko character get out of jail for the market manipulations he engaged in in the first movie? Now reformed, he could relocate to Bermuda to put physical distance between himself and his past life and make a fresh start of things as a player in international business?

Gekko could then come face to face with the type of off-shore "Tax Pirates of the Caribbean" who have seized control of Bermuda and whose activities go way beyond even his old "Greed Is Good" philosophy. Think about it: even the little birds never foul their own nests but these characters will if there's a quick buck to be made - the proposed Southlands Resort providing the obscenely-scaled Exhibit A.

This buccaneering band would be led by a "Pirate King" who carries on sacking and looting and paving what little is left of this tax-free "Pirates' Kingdom", deaf to all appeals for reason emanating from the poor, downtrodden and habitually ignored native inhabitants.

Drawing on his own past experience as a baddy, Gekko could then engage in some financial derring-do and save the day along with the few undeveloped swatches of Bermuda that still remain. Instead of Wall Street 2 they could call it Bermudiana Road. Brian Duperreault would be a natural to play the "Pirate King". We could even have a Hollywood happy ending in the movie version, something Bermuda doesn't seem likely to get in real life!

BEMUSED

Warwick