Harrowing but also inspiring - the story of Carolyn Thomas is a lesson for us all on the silent nightmare that is domestic violence.

In December 2003, her boyfriend of eight years shot her mother dead and blasted her in the head at point-blank range, destroying most of her face. Remarkably, Miss Thomas survived and now brings hope to millions of women around the world with her tale of courage and resilience.

Miss Thomas has dedicated her life to urging other victims of abuse to speak out before it is too late. She has appeared on Oprah, Larry King Live and television documentaries, as well as at speaking engagements across the United States and beyond. On Wednesday, Miss Thomas was invited to Bermuda to speak at the Physical Abuse Centre's black tie gala dinner, held at the Fairmont Hamilton Princess. This is an account of her story.

"I would never have thought my life would have taken this direction," said Miss Thomas.

"Going into adulthood I never thought domestic violence would happen to me, but one out of three women are abused by their spouses or significant other."

As a young woman Miss Thomas moved to Waco, Texas, and began dating Terrence Kelly.

"In the beginning he was very nice and during counselling later this was what I was told was the courtship period. He didn't show any signs he was going to be abusive."

After four years the couple moved in together. The first time Kelly was abusive was after she received a friendly phone call from one of her ex-boyfriends from school, now married. He came into the room and slapped her.

From then on, it was a downward spiral, with Kelly punching and even trying to strangle her.

Then there was the emotional and mental abuse, the denigrating names. She also suffered financial abuse, with him only allowing her to work at certain times and at other times, forcing her to pay all the bills.

Miss Thomas, 37, also said there was "spiritual and sexual abuse".

She said: "At the time I wasn't aware of the options available to me. I didn't know being silent about it could transform into a silent killer. I didn't call 911, I didn't call my local shelter."

Ironically at one time, she even lived next door to a women's refuge.

"If I'd called 911 or called that shelter I could have walked out of the front door into their's," said Miss Thomas.

"I'm not sure why Terrence abused me. I thought I knew everything at 22," she said. "My mum would tell me that Terrence was controlling and my grandmother told me that Terrence was crazy. And I'm sure everyone is wondering why do women stay in these abusive relationships.

"I'm going to give you some reasons - I stayed because Terrence told me he loved me, he told me he wouldn't do it again, and I wanted him to love me the same way I loved him. He also promised me he'd change, but most of all I feared him.

"Time and time again he told me 'if you leave me I will kill you'.

"At the time I didn't think he was being serious. I even used to laugh about it with my girlfriends, thinking it was cute."

Miss Thomas then discovered another dark side to Kelly - his auto bodyshop had been a front for drug dealing, and in 1999 he was jailed.

"I thought finally I am free of him," said Miss Thomas. But he constantly sent her letters, telling her 'Til death do us part. Together forever.'

He would also ask her about two guns he had left in the house. "I didn't know what to do with them," she admitted on Wednesday. "Looking back now, I should have had a plan. I didn't know that one of those guns would be the fate of my life as well as that of my mother's."

In 2003 Kelly was released on parole to his sister's house in Fort Worth - an hour and 15 minutes away from Miss Thomas's home in Waco.

"At Christmas he came with his sister to Waco and he never left," she said. "I didn't want a relationship with him."

Miss Thomas then described to guests at the Hamilton Princess how, on December 5, "all hell broke loose".

"He had a look in his eye that I say was the look of the devil. I started to pray, maybe I was trying to cast the devil out of him and he began to calm down," she said. But then he grabbed the gun.

"He shot my mother in the stomach. He then took me into the living room and shot me into the face at point-blank range," said Miss Thomas matter-of-factly, adding: "Today I thank God for my nosy neighbour. Without her calling 911 I would not be standing before you today."

Miss Thomas not only lost her mother Janice Reeves, but 80 percent of her face. The bullet missed her brain but destroyed her right eye, cheeks, nose, upper jaw, the roof of her mouth and most of her teeth.

Over the past couple of years she has had 11 reconstructive surgery procedures and has named her Shih-Tzu dog Landon, in honour of surgeon Dr. Eugene Landon Alford.

In November Miss Thomas will undergo more surgery, for a new nose and to lift her left eye. "And I am still determined to get those Angelina Jolie lips," she joked.

But taking a more serious tone, she added: "But the reason I am here is to get the message across about domestic violence, to let peole know what the signs are."

She urged women suffering from domestic violence in Bermuda, and friends and relatives who suspect a loved one is being abused, to "take advantage of the resources out there - 911 calls, your local shelters and domestic violence hotline".

Describing abuse as "a pattern of power and control" she urged women to speak out and not become isolated by their partners from their family and friends.

"And as individuals, please be observant of your loved ones. If you notice something, perhaps a change of dress or maybe someone is not as happy as they used to be, please take advantage of your local domestic violence helpline."

Kelly received two life prison sentences. Miss Thomas meanwhile is setting up her own foundation to help fellow victims - Voices For All - The Carolyn Thomas Foundation. It will include programmes in self-defence.

"The world knows me as 'the woman without a face' but I would rather be known as the woman who survived," she said.

In paying tribute to Miss Thomas afterwards, Rose Vickers of the Physical Abuse Centre said: "Domestic violence is everyone's business. If you hear or know of someone who needs help, if you don't want to get into their business, give us a call and we'll try to do something."

During the black tie gala dinner - sponsored by the Bank of Bermuda, gifts were presented to Miss Thomas and to her companion Mary Glynn. Bank of Bermuda Chief Financial Officer Nigel Crow and Corporate Secretary Judy Doidge also received gifts as a thank you for the Bank's support in providing security cameras and equipment for the Physical Abuse Centre's office and training centre.

If you need help or are concerned about a relative or friend, please contact the Physical Abuse Centre on 292 4366 or the Women's Resource Centre hotline on 295 7273.