heartache behind her multi-millionaire lifestyle.

She told Supreme Court how she was abused by an alcoholic mother, forced into a disastrous marriage and kept in the dark about her fortune.

And she spoke of her growing love for Perot's Island, the Bermuda home she hopes will be a centre for counselling and therapy.

Mrs. MacMillan, 60, is in court fighting to keep the private retreat in Riddell's Bay she bought in 1987.

Top Canadian businessman Michael DeGroote says she must stick to a deal to sell it to him for $8.5 million. He wants the court to force the sale.

Mrs. MacMillan is a member of the family which owns Cargill, America's biggest private company. She is said to be worth $700 million.

Yesterday, wearing a fashionable black and beige suit, Mrs. MacMillan took her turn at the witness stand.

She said her father was usually absent when she was a child. "My mother was an alcoholic. Unfortunately, I was very damaged physically by her brutality.'' In 1954 she was "pressured'' into marriage by a man who said he would commit suicide if she did not agree.

"I informed my mother approximately four weeks before the marriage that I did not want to marry him.

"My mother said: `It's too late, I've sent out the invitations'.'' Further marriages, one to a Cargill lawyer and one to a banker, came and went, the court heard.

Up to 1987, said Mrs. MacMillan, her family allowed her little involvement in her inherited assets. Meanwhile, her two older brothers used her share to invest in "toy companies'' and boats.

Then the family told her of a bank account set up for her in Bermuda. At the time she was in Uruguay, where she owned farms.

She hired a lawyer to help her get control of her finances and came here. At this point, Mrs MacMillan admitted, she was a "recluse''.

She bought Perot's Island but could not live there.

"It was rotten inside and falling apart and very dirty. It was unlivable.'' Architects seemed unable to help her, her plans were turned down by Government, and by 1989 she became discouraged.

She said she started thinking about putting the island on the market, and was advised by Ms Jonelle White of Betco, the Bank of Butterfield real estate firm, to make cosmetic improvements to the house.

She also consulted lawyer Sen. Jerome Dill, of Appleby, Spurling and Kempe, she said.

Using decorator Mrs. Patti Crouch and a new architect, she began to enjoy improving her property. Eventually, the court heard, she spent up to $3 million.

By August 1990, when she learned Mr. DeGroote was interested, she was "not anxious to sell''.

She was more established in Bermuda by this time, she said, and had gained a "support group who became very friendly and caring''.

Mrs. MacMillan said this counselling group was under the professional umbrella of therapist Mrs. Sarah White.

"It is perhaps a group of individuals who are also examining their lives and wanting to rectify certain errors, if you will, that have led us into hasty judgments and unfortunate mistakes.'' She said she was relieved when Mr. DeGroote rejected a $6.5 million asking price.

"I had been through this coming and going of visitors and realtors and was very content actually to enjoy the property for a bit, and have time to enjoy the fruits of what had been accomplished.'' She then told Mr. Dill she wanted the island off the market.

However, said Mrs. MacMillan, she still felt pressured to comply with Mr.

DeGroote's plans. Ms White was insistent, she said, although she had decided not to sell.