The Women’s Resource Centre (WRC) will host a workshop tomorrow designed specifically for mothers raising sons in the absence of a father or father-figures.‘Mothers Parenting Sons’ details the powerful influence mothers have on the men their sons become.The first workshop is geared for mothers raising sons, the second, to be held later this month is geared for fathers raising daughters.Denise Carey, Programme Coordinator at the Government Residential Treatment Centre will lead the first workshop. She is also the former Executive Director of the Sunshine League.The majority of WRC clients come from single parent households headed up by women, who in most cases are raising their children alone.The workshops are designed to equip parents with the tools needed to successfully raise children into well-rounded, grounded adults.WRC Director Elaine Williams said: “We’re going to look at the so-called ‘Mama’s Boy Syndrome’ in Bermuda as well.”She described ‘Mama’s Boy Syndrome’ as “young men becoming emotionally tied to or dependant on their mothers for decision making and coping skills”.“It can include mothers who emotionally incapacitate their sons by allowing them to assume the responsibility of the ‘man of the house’ in the absence of a father figure, a form of emotional incest,” said Ms Williams. “We’re going to look at how mothers take on the boy child and make him the man of the house as a child; sometimes it happens unintentionally.“But quite often we see men coming into our centre who have misused women because a lot of them have some frustration in them after having been raised by women who have their own set of issues,” she said.“We have a very large segment of households headed up by single women. If a woman doesn’t understand what a real man is then she will raise her son based on her knowledge or lack of it. I think we have become a culture where women enable young men for various reasons. She may have an emotional need because there’s the lack of a man in her life.“The mother may feel guilt because the man is not there and she may be over compensating with her son. There are various reasons for it but I do believe it has become a cultural norm that needs to be corrected,” said Ms Williams.“It is an issue affecting families across the board not just in the black community, and its not anything new. When I was growing up a lot of young men did not work, their mothers were supporting them while making excuses for them just as they do today,” she added.The breakdown of the family unit has often been cited as a key contributing factor in antisocial behaviour.WRC Counselor Janet Dill noted while we have always had single parents raising children, unlike previous years the male figure is increasingly absent.“Before you had uncles, grandfathers or somebody male if the fathers weren’t around. The male figures are just not there like they used to be generally leaving the women to raise the children on her own,”she said.There has also been a noticeable increase in the number of grandmothers raising their grandchildren in the absence of either the father, the mother or both. “The grandmothers who are raising these children, first of all they have raised their own children and they’re tired,” said Ms Williams.“They have other responsibilities and they’re taking on the additional responsibility of their grandchildren and the person who doesn’t benefit the most ultimately is the child. And we have children raising children who lack the basic fundamentals themselves.“A lot of what we’re seeing today is directly linked to the breakdown of the home, the family unit, coupled with the fact that parents today are totally different from parents back in the day,” she added.“Our courses are geared more towards helping parents to understand how great the power that they have in their hands is, to influence who these young men and women become.”Later this month Wayne Caines, CEO of Digicel Bermuda will switch the emphasis to the influence of fathers on their daughters.“There is a direct correlation between female child’s development and deportment which can be linked to the relationship with her father.“A father is called to play three roles in his daughter’s life, that of a priest, a provider and a protector,” said Mr Caines.“Even if you are having a problem with your daughter’s mother, never disrespect ‘motherhood’,” he said.Ms Williams added: “Fathers can show young women what kind of relationship is a healthy relationship for their daughters to be in. Alternatively the hole left in souls from absent fathers can lead to inappropriate relationships on the part of young girls with older men in an attempt to fill the void left by having no father figure in their lives.”“In Bermuda we have a tendency to push everything under the carpet, we like to pretend that everything is okay, we love to keep secrets, we love to not talk about anything of substance that matters,” said Ms Williams. “And its even that much harder for men to talk about their issues, its always harder for a man to open up to a woman or even to another man because of the male ego,” said Ms Dill.And both women agreed that boys are conditioned very early in life not to cry when they are hurt while little girls are nurtured and allowed to express their feelings.These are just some of the wide-ranging topics to be discussed in the two workshops.Seats are limited for both workshops, but there is still space available for the workshop tomorrow and the second session on September 24.Both workshops will be held at 6pm in the board room at Charities House on Point Finger, Paget. For more information call 295-3882.