As the family of missing Rudy Smith struggle to come to terms with what they accept as his murder and disappearance, the idea of a memorial, briefly considered, has been put aside.More than two months have passed since Mr Smith was last seen on July 9.Asked if she had considered some form of tribute ceremony to bring the family closure, mother Madeline Ramparsad said it had been a topic of discussion.Yesterday they had their answer.Older sister Tanna Smith told The Royal Gazette: “We know my brother’s gone. But when people are gone, you have a memorial — and how are we to accept what we don’t even know?”Three weeks after a speculative rumour led the family to an abandoned North Shore property — where nothing was recovered — Mr Smith’s mother conceded that reliable leads have dried up.Police continue to investigate it as murder, and the family continues to be bombarded with rumours, but Mrs Ramparsad speaks of her son in the past tense.However, Ms Smith’s message was: don’t expect a memorial any time soon.“Right now, I have not even thought about a memorial,” she said.“I think eventually, when we know it’s time,” she added. “When people go off to sea and never come back, at least you know they were fishing. My brother left and never came back.”Ms Smith, a US resident who had not seen her brother in 11 years, has no intention of going home until “we know the hows and whens”.“I’m not leaving my mom and granny to endure this.”She added: “I never dreamed I would have to say my brother was murdered in 2012.”The painful dilemma for Mr Smith’s family, his mother said, is “all we hear is rumours”.Certain beyond doubt that there are people with answers, Ms Smith called for “some person with a little humanity in you — throw us a rock with a letter, so that we can know. My God, Bermuda, come on.”Mrs Ramparsad, who continues to work even as she expects her son to return home, said she is approached in the street by strangers who commiserate.“It’s just two months,” she said. “I think it’s too early. Even my mother is saying, Please, not yet.”Persons with information can contact the Serious Crime Unit at 247-1340, or anonymously call the Crime Stoppers Hotline, 800-8477.