The Barclays Premier League embraces a managers’s cult status and celebrity perhaps more than any other league.

In England, the personality on the bench is as, if not more, headline-grabbing these days than the guys on the pitch.

Petrified and overbearing public relations departments have steered players away from saying anything other than the one-game-at-a-time-it’s-a-results-business-110-per-cent-it’s-always-been-my-dream-to-play-for-Norwich-type platitudes that could suck the joy out of Cup Match Crown and Anchor.

“The Special One”, at least before his toxic need for control ruined Chelsea, José Mourinho, had a lot to do with the present fervour surrounding managers.

So here’s a look ahead to this weekend’s action, with the bosses — and their monikers — to the forefront.

“The Angry Scotsman One” comes from a long line of angry Scotsman. There is some of Sir Alex Ferguson in the way Alex Neil treats an interviewer’s questions; his unflinching mouth and steely, laser glare scream “dinnae ahsk that ahgin, ya dinnae noo fitbah ya wee s****house”. Or something like that. You know, as scary as David Moyes was before he was exposed as being not all that good. Anyway, Neil is up against “The Allardici One” as Big Sam continues to battle, modestly of course, against the perception he has only one way of playing. Sunderland to snatch a survival lifeline.

Prediction: 1-2

“The Annoyingly Positive One” insisted that Everton were “incredible” in claiming a 0-0 draw at Palace on Wednesday. The only thing incredible was that 23,528 fans decided to stay and watch it. Everton continue to stumble and Roberto Martínez knows patience is wearing thin. He takes on “The Flying Dutchman One”, with Ronald Koeman enjoying another fine season on the South Coast. A bigger job surely awaits the former Barcelona defender.

Prediction: 1-2

“The Where’s My Chin One” knows the FA Cup could salvage his season and result in him limping off into retirement with his reputation relatively unharmed. Champions League qualification is also a must and that may prove trickier. This clash, however, possesses all the challenge of a two-piece jigsaw as the Dutchman takes on the “Who The **** Is In Charge One”. Easy home win.

Prediction: 3-0

“The Fat Spanish Waiter One” appears to have bitten off more than he can chew, which is unusual. Unfortunately for him, paella is more digestible than this gong show of a Newcastle team. It’s something “The Cycling Loving Tactical One” knows only too well and Francesco Guidolin should continue his steady job in Wales.

Prediction: 1-2

“The Good Looking One” goes up against his polar opposite when he travels to the Midlands. Quique Sánchez Flores is the nephew of Flamenco singer-dancer Lola Flores and boasts Alfredo Di Stefano as his Godfather, “The I’ll Save you From Relegation One” is the son of a steelworker. But that, as Tony Pulis will tell you, is a strength. A victory for reliability over good cheek bones.

Prediction: 2-0

“The Deeply Gloomy Mountain Moose One” (&Copy; Barney Ronay) actually raised a smile in his post-match press conference after Manchester City’s win over Paris-Saint Germain. Manuel Pellegrini can justifiably point to European progress this season and probably Champions League qualification once again. It’s streets ahead of what “The Interim One” inherited, although Guus Hiddink has kept the seat warm ahead of the summer Stamford Bridge revolution.

Prediction: 1-1

Self-appointed “The Normal One”, Jürgen Klopp has proved, as suspected, that he is more “The Bat S*** Crazy One”, or for the football philosophers out there “The Gegenpressing One”. He’s clearly improving Liverpool slowly but surely, although an away encounter against “The Up-And-Coming One” will present a test. Eddie Howe’s Bournemouth are a genuine success story.

Prediction: 2-2

“The Crying One” has put his emotions out there as Leicester show little signs of letting this opportunity slip, despite everyone expecting them to. No one would begrudge Claudio Ranieri’s moment in the sun. West Ham’s impressive season could be deflated by the FA Cup defeat to Manchester United as “The Rock Star One” prepares his team for leaving Upton Park.

Prediction: 1-0

“The We Won’t Pay Over The Odds for A Striker Even Though We Desperately Need One ... One” has overseen probably the biggest missed opportunity of his reign. Familiar failings have cost Arsène Wenger a real go at the title with a failure to deal with big games still an Achilles’ heel. They may find some respite when they take on “The Loves Himself One”, who is steadying the ship after a disastrous run.

Prediction: 2-0

“The Touted One” has propelled himself to the top of the managerial pile after superb jobs at Southampton and now Spurs. Mauricio Pochettino knows his side are first in line to capitalise on any slip-up by Leicester. To do this they must get one over the “The Sparky One” Mark Hughes; an outwardly quiet man who nevertheless looks perennially on the verge of dishing out a beating.

Prediction: 0-2