HANKSGIVING has always been special to my mother. She makes the most extraordinary Thanksgiving dinners. They include mashed potatoes, a roast, rolls, gravy, carrots, pumpkin pie, and my favourite of all, turkey with lots of stuffing! I usually sit there in "awe'' over all the delicious food and cannot wait to dig in. Before that is possible, each year my mother asks, "What are you thankful for?'' Each of my three siblings and I go around the table and say something brief just so we can start eating. This year is different, though, as I will not be home for Thanksgiving.a question I finally have a sincere answer to. That is, I am extremely thankful for my mother's courage and strength, which has not only changed her life, but mine as well.

You could say that every family has issues. Some may not be as extreme as others, although mine certainly seemed extreme to me. My father is an alcoholic and although he loves all four of us children dearly, he was abusive to us, especially to my mother. My father is a really awesome guy when he is sober, but when he is intoxicated he can say and do some scary things. My mother threatened and even tried to leave him many times, but as a mother of four with nowhere to go, he always convinced her to come back. Eventually though, it got so bad between them that she had no alternative but to end things.

I remember the day we left clearly, and can still see the fear in her eyes.

But I knew this was a day that would change all of our lives. We stayed at my half-sister's house for a few days until a restraining order came through and then went back home. My mother was not able to afford the house that we had loved, but I knew in my heart it would work out for the best and it has.

We moved to an apartment in a new area and I attended a new school. At first I was nervous and scared that I would not make many friends, but at the same time I felt like a new person...a person who would not have to hide things, someone who was allowed to have friends and someone who could smile and laugh.

I did not have a hard time fitting in and neither did my sister or brothers. I could see that everyone was happy and becoming their own person. Even my mother.

Y mom became much more outgoing and made friends that she would hang out with.

She would even laugh and tell us jokes. I have asked her many times if she would ever go back to my dad and she always says strongly, "No way, there is not a chance in the world.'' I also realise that if my parents were still together today, I would not have accomplished the things I have done, such as playing sports, participating in student council and obtaining decent enough grades to help me get into college. In addition, about a year and a half ago, my half-sister and her husband gave me the opportunity to come and live with them in Bermuda.

Again my mother showed a lot of strength by letting me move 2,000 miles away from her. I am thankful she let me because I would not have met the people I have and made so many great friends.

I do see my mother often but given my school schedule I cannot go home for Thanksgiving this year. However, I know for sure my phone line will be busy that night, especially during dinner time when its my turn to answer her question. Thank you, mom, for your courage, strength and love! *** JESSIE SCHNEIDER -- Mount St. Agnes