For Crystal Aming the report of another death on Bermuda's roads brings back the excruciating news she received last year.

She lost her husband, Alan Oliver, after he appeared to lose control of his motorcycle and hit a pole on North Shore Road, Devonshire at about 10.30 pm on February 2, 2007.

Minutes before the 41-year-old had been at a good-bye party for a Police Rugby Club player Peter Elliot at the Robin Hood pub.

Now little more than a year later Mrs. Aming, a human resources manager for International Advisory Services, Ltd., says her first year without her "travel partner" has been painstaking and not something she wants another family to experience.

Here Mrs. Aming remembers her husband and friend and how every accident brings back her memories.

"He had seen an advertisement in a magazine in Wales and decided to apply for the job.

"He claimed he saw me on the first night when he went to the Police Bar after arriving on the Island but I was seeing someone else.

"Three years later we got together in 1991. We dated for five years before we got married in the Holy Trinity Church in Hamilton Parish.

"He proposed in my living room and then he did it properly at what was Tuscany's. He got down on one knee. He was crying, I was crying, the table next to us was crying.

"We went to Aruba for our honeymoon. We liked to travel and he really liked ski holidays. I am not great at skiing, but Ihad lessons and he would stick with me on the bunny slopes for a while.

"I miss my travel partner. Who am I going to go with now? We used to have fun on our holidays. The Saturday before he died on a Friday we had just flown back from St. Maarten where we were celebrating our tenth anniversary.

"It was bitter sweet. He had wanted to stay another week and I kinda wish we had because things might have been different.

"The recent accidents automatically bring it back to you and since his accident I am very conscious of those not obeying the laws of the road.

"It just gets me angry and I start thinking: 'What's wrong with you? You are not immortal!'

"Alan was very big into rugby. He spent most of his career involved in rugby. He even captained the team here."Everyone respected him and loved him. When he retired from rugby he switched to golf. Two nights before he died he met with his friends and he had just decided on a trip to Arizona and he was really excited to go because he hadn't been before.

"He tried to get me involved, but I said: 'That's your man time.' He loved sports.

"Alan was with the Police until the beginning of 2005 and he loved being a policeman, but he needed a change. It was hard for him.

"His father was a Policeman and he retired as an inspector. Alan went to the department of Airport Operations as Assistant Director.

"They loved him. He was one of those guys who everyone loved. I see them on the streets even now and they tell me they miss his smile.

"On the night he had been at a leaving do for one of the rugby guys. He was there and had written a poem for him that he read out.

"He liked poetry and he would write quotations out that he liked. When I was cleaning out his office I found a stack of them.

"We both loved children and they always put a smile on his face. My niece and him were very close and I think she has a harder time, as crazy as it sounds, than me.

"She was eight when it happened. I have been really lucky with my family and friends. You really find out who your friends are. They have been really great.

"Most of the time I end up comforting them. It was a difficult year. Both of our birthdays are in December and he is a Christmas baby.

"Then the anniversary which we had celebrated the tenth year the year before and the anniversary of his death.

"I had to spend Christmas away. But saying that I have great memories and life does go on. You don't think so at the time.

"But Imiss him every day. Some days I still expect him to walk through the door; having someone to talk to about how your day was

."It's one thing to be out and about with friends, but when you go home and it's just you because we didn't have kids, that's when it hurts."It's hard for his really close friends as well."