Will they get what you wanted them to get? Or, will there be endless bickering, resentment and hostility?

Nothing generates these emotions like the passing of a parent, especially if Mom loved you best.

It is time again for the annual rant about getting your estate in order. It is amazing the negative responses received when posing the following question, even to the most-task driven, self-motivated people, who pride themselves in their accomplishments every day.

Do you have a will?

At this juncture, there are sheepish looks and uncomfortable body language. Why is this?

No one we ever knew did not, not die. It is going to happen, as inevitably as the sun pouring forth its rays every day. Why not plan for this event, assume it will be a long way off in the distance, and get on with living in the now.

Reasons to have a will. Actually, if it is just up to you, why bother. You are now officially dead and you don't care. The act of executing a will - the more correct terminology - is an act of generosity and unselfishness for most individuals.

They want to assure themselves in the now, that those they love will be financially protected in the forever. The mere decision just to sort through the acquisitions of a lifetime can culminate in life-changing decisions. Old habits are discarded and new opportunities present themselves.

You have put yourself through the process of settling your estate and the appropriate documents are in place. Don't do what happens to many of us, they get put away, forgotten - never to see the light again.

There are many reasons to review your legal documents, and consult with your lawyer more than once every 20 years!

Marriage changes everything. Or so they say - quite possibly these are the comments of those who wish they weren't married. Suddenly instead of one of you and family, there are now two of you with families on both sides of the fence. Most people bring unequal asset values to a new legal relationship. A will (or trust) properly prepared clearly sets forth your wishes and intent.

Blessed events, children by birth or adopted. A parent(s) dying with no will leaves small children's financial and emotional future to measured chance. Their inherited assets may not be managed according to your wishes, A guardian may be assigned for them that may not represent their best interest, or may not have the experience to guide them to adulthood. They never liked Aunt Mabel anyway.

Divorce. So you tried. The relationship has failed due to incompatibility or myriad reasons. It is most definitely more expensive to divorce than to marry, especially here in Bermuda. If the only substantial marital asset is a jointly owned property, the division becomes very divisive.

It is imperative to review your will and titling on all of your assets. Remove bequests to the soon-to-be former spouse. Change the beneficiary on your pensions, life insurance, and other contracts. Remove co-ownership on your shares, bank accounts, and credit cards.

Most importantly, direct your attorney to have you removed as guarantor on any mortgages, car, personal loans, etc. with your former spouse.

These particularly can come back to haunt you in later life, if the ex defaults on the loan. Yes, folks, these things happened - regularly!

Changes in size of your assets. You may wish to designate bequests to charity, or distribute most of your estate currently. Sudden increases in wealth can change everything, not always for the better.

Inheritance. They left a generous gift to you and you want to pass it on.

Immigration or move to another country, even temporarily. A domestic will works locally, but may not work at all elsewhere. The situs of your assets not physically in Bermuda may or may not be subject to taxation in your estate. Physical access to these assets by your survivors could be severely restricted until the estate reporting, filing is finalised. Understanding what the legal and tax implications are ahead of your impulse to purchase that gorgeous little cottage farm away, is always a good idea.

Serious illness. Ideally, you will have done your estate planning years ago. It is terribly difficult and emotional draining to plan financially when contemplating departure from this glorious world.

Disabled family members. So many families have experienced this heartache, yet we are often reluctant to discuss these issues. There is great peace of mind in knowing that you have planned as best you can for those that cannot care for themselves.

Death or retirement of a guardian, a trustee, or a designated executor.

Financially irresponsible children. In today's inflationary environment and barely solvent governments, parents increasingly are putting themselves first. They have to - they know these children won't be able to care for them.

Retirement changes needs.

Changes in insurability may necessitate a completely different set of wishes in your will. If your spouse is no longer insurable for health or has run off the lifetime cap, the entire asset base may have to used by him/her first to fund medical expenses.

Start up or divestiture of a business and Buy / sell agreement are complicated issues that need very clear legacy instructions. The danger to a business in crisis is severe loss of business. A properly executed business plan that addresses all contingencies will provide for a smooth transition in owners and assets.

Changes in tax, property, probate or estate law relative to your affairs. There are always changes to laws - keep current on those that affect real estate ownership and estate death duty. General information on these items can often be found on professional websites here in Bermuda.

Liability exposure to individuals and families. Review your risk management policies for insurability and liability protection. You want those assets listed in your will to be there when you move on to glory. Look for the following over the next few months Losing a spouse is a Loss of income; the role of executor; wading the way through probate; settling your estate for the future, living for the now; the role of trusts and conveyancing.

Martha Harris Myron, CPA, CFP(US) TEP(UK) is a Certified Financial Planner practitioner and a partner at Patterson Partners Ltd. She provides independent fee-only cross-border tax, estate, investment, and strategic planning services for Bermuda residents with cross-border and multi-national connections, internationally mobile people and US citizens living abroad. For more information, contact mmyron@patterson-partners.com or phone 296-3528.