In view of much rhetoric with regard to "our" troubled youth situation, it is with much sorrow I relay the following true story. It may affect you, as it did me, with a blow to the heart. Further, it may shed light on what has, and continues to, gone wayward.

A father reported that ever since the mother of his child and he had gone their separate ways, the mother used the social services, lawyers and the court system to have him ostensibly removed from his son's life. He has suffered false allegations, inaccurate court reports, indifferent lawyers with a defeatist attitude - a father will always lose - and being treated by the judiciary as an imbecile for having the audacity to enter the court in a futile effort to retain his status as a father.

The father, rather than endure the infliction of more pain and to avoid crippling financial loss, withdrew from fatherhood. All too many dads in the past have retreated from parenthood, this being the only feasible option in light of the inevitable decision of making them an occasional visitor in their child's life - about 24 days a year.

In years past, as the child became a young man without the love, guidance or discipline of his father, the juvenile looked for male companionship in all the wrong places and was used and abused for immoral and illegal purposes. The result was preordained - he is now incarcerated. The adolescent's misguided, and vindictive mother phoned the alienated father to inform him that his son was in prison, saying that his son needed him.

The discarded father replied: "You broke it, you fix it!"

While one cannot criticise the father for his hardened attitude, the fact remains that the "it" spoken of is a living, breathing being and an integral component of our community. Sadly, because of his pain, the father failed to grasp the opportunity to regain the relationship that had been stolen from him.

Of late, as is our custom, condemnation and blame has been freely distributed around the population of our island home. The Government, Opposition, teachers, churches and sports clubs have been targeted, some even pointing to parents (a novel concept).

This scenario of a young life marred is all too prevalent. I ask this question; do not the case workers, lawyers and judges (all of whom receive substantial income from these social ills) need to search their souls pertaining to their role in these tragic matters? Do they not see the fact that they are, in many cases, being used to destroy young lives by cruel and manipulative mothers with private agendas?

And to the people of Bermuda; are we not obligated to become involved in bringing about great modernistic concepts, when dealing with our children in general and, in particular, from broken homes?

Should we petition this honourable Government to remove child care issues from a court system that is so overburdened that a judge may preside over a murder or crime in the morning and decide the fate of a child, where no crime has been committed, in the afternoon? Further the judge in question may not be trained in the importance of the role of both parents in raising a child.

What's the alternative?

A unique child care system that employs a mediation panel of qualified males and females. This panel would be experienced and trained in gender sensitive mediation dispute resolution and counselling. In this manner, we would benefit from bringing parents together to provide for the children's physical and emotional needs, rather than the divisive, ill-equipped court system that ensures that the children's inheritance is given to lawyers, who in the mind of many, drive a wedge between the parents. This results in added pain and suffering for the children, who then become victims without a voice. A voice not heard from until 4 a.m. at Ice Queen or when a grandmother goes to the post office and winds up fighting for her life in hospital.

One wag offered a solution. Every child who was taken from a good willing father who, subsequently became part of the tide of wasted humanity, should be ordered to live with and be the responsibility of the judges, lawyers and caseworkers who were of the opinion that removing the father was in the best interests of the child.

@EDITRULE:

Eddie Fisher is the founder of Childwatch