Q. I'm a mother of very intelligent 15-year-old boy. He learned his colours and shapes by age two. He also spoke very well at this age, but he despised my reading to him and wouldn't sit still.

When writing, he got his letters wrong or wrote them backwards. In school he had problems with reading, writing and spelling.

I asked the school to have him tested, but they wouldn't. They said all children have some difficulty with writing letters backwards. I believed my son had dyslexia because my father, mother and brother were dyslexic.

My son went through testing in the third grade, but they didn't find any problems. Finally, in fifth grade I had him tested by a psychiatrist, who said he had a reading disability.

The school then put him in special classes. His new high school has helped more than any of the other schools, and he's now in two classes for his reading disability.

He's a sophomore, but is reading at a fifth-grade level. I want to help him at home, but he hates to read.

His interests are auto mechanics, hunting, guns and knives, but he refuses to get any books or magazines in these areas.

I'm afraid he may end up like his dyslexic uncle who dropped out of high school. He goes to school with no problems, but only because he enjoys his auto-mechanics class.

When I was in school I earned average grades because school bored me and I didn't try. I graduated from college last year, returning after 17 years, and graduated with a GPA of 3.54, summa cum laude.

I know my son is smart. Please help me to help him. Right now he thinks that reading problems are no big deal, and he doesn't want to try to read better.

A. I can understand that your family history of dyslexia and your brother's dropping out of high school, together with your own successful return to school, can cause you some intense feelings about wanting your son to realise the potential opportunities that could be his if he put forth more effort toward reading.

An attorney whom I interviewed for my research on successful women ("How Jane Won," 2001) shared with me that because of her dyslexia, she found she had to work three times harder than other students to feel intelligent.

Her struggles with dyslexia paid off, because learning to work harder lead her to graduate at the top of her law school class and to many successful career years.

One of the best ways you can help your son is to believe in him. In addition, you'll find it helpful to get him his textbooks on CDs.

Recording for the Blind and Dyslexic can make those available, or perhaps your school may be able to help him with that. All his high school subjects will seem approachable if he can wear a headset and listen while he's reading; that will undoubtedly improve his reading as well.

Also, encourage him to find other strong subjects that he enjoys. If he becomes engaged and interested, he'll be more motivated to read the material he needs to help him in his strengths and areas of interest.

Pressing him too much to learn reading from you may backfire and cause him to rebel. Of course, if he's interested, that would be great, but I don't suggest you make reading a battle.

Your persistence has already paid off in that your son attends school regularly. I know you won't give up on him, and that will surely help him to find his way.

For free newsletters about learning disabilities or "How Jane Won," send a large self-addressed, stamped envelope to P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI, 53094, or visit www.sylviarimm.com for more parenting information.

Dr. Sylvia B. Rimm is the director of the Family Achievement Clinic in Cleveland, Ohio, a clinical professor of psychiatry and paediatrics at the Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine, and the author of many books on parenting.

More information on raising children is available at www.sylviarimm.com.

Please send questions to: Sylvia B. Rimm on Raising Kids, P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI 53094 or srimmsylviarimm.com.