big Peugeot official MinistryMobile. But Hester's glad at least he's taking good care of the gleaming new addition to the Government fleet.

For, while Mr. Scott was in the House of Assembly taking part in the Finance Ministry debate, no fewer than two of his Ministerial workforce were seen polishing up the metallic blue super-sedan in the House carpark.

And even Mr. Scott's distinctive GP plate didn't escape attention -- one of the diligent staff, dressed in Works & Engineering overalls, was oh so lovingly polishing the rear licence plate in gentle strokes as Hester happened to stroll by. So it clearly pays to have Cabinet clout -- but it's nice to see Mr. Scott keeping "his'' workforce gainfully employed.

Those naughty civil servants have been at it again. And the powers-that-be have had to slap their little wrists again .

Hester can reveal that Cabinet Secretary Leo Mills was ordered to dispatch a brusque memo to all Permanent Secretaries and department heads last week to warn them of the great offence of leaking official secrets.

"For the second time in recent weeks,'' the memo said, "official information -- in this case, news of appointment of a new Director of Tourism -- has been leaked to the media and I am obliged to remind all civil servants that that kind of activity will not be tolerated.'' Department heads were told to inform their employees not to breach the Official Secrets Act again, and thus bring the entire civil service into disrepute, or they will certainly be dealt with! ... Hester wonders if the memo is an "official secret'', because guess how she got hold of it.

It wasn't a run-in with a client, or the union, that bruised and battered the face of Bermuda's favourite pitbull lawyer, Alan Dunch this week.

Apparently, Hester has been told, it was Dunch's passion for the game of golf that caused him to cancel his court appearances. The local legal eagle took a nasty hit in the chops with a golf club during a game over the weekend.

His chum Saul Froomkin made a point of telling Appeals Court judge Sir James Astwood , another avid golfer, of Dunch's misfortune on the green, between cases yesterday. Indeed, Sen. Mark Pettingill chipped in, he had gone to see his house-bound adversary and he looked terrible.

Hester's getting a little concerned about the behaviour of late on the Hill.

Perhaps Mr. Mills needs to send a memo reminding the Honourable Lot they are not on Saturday Night Live, even though it gets that late sometimes. The Opposition's C.V. (Jim) Woolridge was in fine form late last Wednesday during the Tourism debate. If you missed it, The Woice of Summer apparently did not like his speech being interrupted by Green Minister Arthur Hodgson on the other side.

"Be quiet, Kojak'', The Woice of Summer shot back, only to be sternly reprimanded about House etiquette by the Speaker Stanley Lowe . However, CVJim apparently forgot his scolding when he was interrupted on the floor again, this time by backbencher Delaey Robinson (who, Hester's told, proudly came to the House armed with extra copies of the Bermudian Magazine, whose cover he and his family grace). "Be quiet Bob Marley,'' The Woice of Summer shouted out to the MP, who wears his hair in dreadlocks. Mr. Robinson took it tongue in cheek, but Madame Premier apparently had had it with Naughty Jim.

"Point of order!'' she shouted, "That's a derogatory comment.'' A general uproar ensued until the Speaker told Mr. Woolridge he'd be given the boot if he continued misbehaving.

Here's another classic from the People's House, one full of the wit and sharp tongue Dame Lois Browne Evans is known for.

As the general economic debate worked its way into the early hours of Saturday morning, when most people were counting sheep or partying the night away, the top 40 were doing the people's business.

Mind you, in the once yearly discussion on the direction the economy was going the Parliamentarians strayed from the topic and strayed often. Then came Opposition Leader Pamela Gordon's sister, Pat Gordon-Pamplin who criticised the cut to the Elite Athlete Fund, Dame Lois without looking up from resting her eyes, interpolated: "Oh, that's (Austin) Woods' fund.'' To which Mrs. Gordon-Pamplin, oblivious to what was to come next, replied "the Honourable member is referring to Mr. Woods of the Olympic Association''.

Dame Lois, slyly peered up at Ms Gordon and quipped, "You still think he's good?'' Since it's apparently no secret that the dashing Mr. Woods dated both Ms Gordon and the Premier Jennifer Smith , the remark made it all the more of a show stopper.

But the night was full of innuendo with Works Minister Alex Scott asking "who cares about size'' -- when talking about.. cars.