The Physical Abuse Centre will hold an observance day on Thursday -- a day to stop and reflect on the domestic violence that occurs here in Bermuda and worldwide.

Members of the public will hear testimonies from women who have experienced what it is like to be physically or emotionally violated by either their husband or boyfriend.

And you will hear how they survived.

Patricia Basden of the Physical Abuse Centre said the lunchtime event will take place in the centre's office at 63 Court Street in the Recorder building from 12 p.m. to 1 p.m.

"The topic is `From Here to There' which is centred around letting people know that even though you are in an abusive relationship or have been there, there is still something out there for you to gain.

"This is our third annual domestic violence observance day and its purpose is for people to stop and reflect on the abuse in relationships. We will also have two guest speakers -- Lois Stafford and Geneva Humdy-Woodley -- who will also tell of their experiences,'' Miss Basden said.

She added: "Our objective for this day is to share with others what some women went through and the success of where they are today.

"People will hear testimonies from survivors of domestic violence and in hearing these stories we hope our statistics on the amount of abuse that occurs in this community will decrease by the end of the year and that persons in violent relationships will seek help from the agencies that can assist them.'' Miss Basden said it is also important to remember that men are also victims of domestic violence.

"There are also men who come in to the centre who are with women who have volatile tempers. They are men who do not believe in hitting women but they take the violence. They may get dinner thrown at them, the lying etc. and they continue to stay.'' There are four types of abuse that can occur -- that being physical, sexual, social and emotional/verbal. "The emotional and verbal abuse ranks high in our agency.

"There is a cycle of abuse women go through which goes back and fourth from the abuse stage and then there is a honeymoon stage where men get them to come back and shower them with gifts and common things like dinner, flowers, trips etc.'' Miss Basden defines the types of abuses: Emotional/verbal abuse -- is when a man or woman puts you down, or when he/she makes you feel bad about yourself. He/she calls you names, and he/she makes you think you are crazy. He/she plays mind games with you.

Silence, ignoring you is also a form of emotional abuse -- it is not a healthy relationship.

Physical -- is when the man/woman restrains you, kicking, punching, slapping, shoving, pointing a finger at you or poking you or any unwanted physical contact that you do not want.

Sexual -- forcing you to have sex, lack of intimacy, rough sexual activity, threatening to harm your reputation, getting back at you with games, infidelity.

Social -- putting you down or ignoring you in public, not letting you see your family and friends, embarrassing you in front of your children, and he or she uses the children as weapons, choosing your friends or family over you.

"It is important for people to hear the testimonies on the observance day so they can identify themselves in violent relationships and be able to overcome and achieve their goals in life,'' Miss Basden said.

Guest speakers Mrs. Stafford and Mrs. Humdy-Woodley also encouraged the public to attend this event.

"Basically where I came from there was verbal and physical abuse and I had the strength to get out of it alive. I fled by taking a flight back home,'' Mrs. Stafford said. She added: "It is important for women to know that there is help but you have to seek for it through different agencies, a friend, whatever it takes to get you on your feet and strong again.

"Therefore I feel that it is important for people to come out to hear what others have been through, what they have done to survive and get through it.'' Mrs. Stafford continued: "It is important for people to come to this observance day so they can see that there is a better way -- you do not have to live like that and the choice is up to you.

"That is what I did and that is why eight years later I'm in Bermuda and my life has improved in every part.'' Geneva Humdy-Woodley said: "I think physical abuse is a very difficult subject for people to talk about -- particularly for women who have experienced it.

"Fifteen years ago I experienced physical abuse in a relationship and though I have moved beyond that and become successful it is still something very painful for me to deal with.

"When I was asked to speak, my immediate inclination was to say `no' but if I can serve as a role model for any other woman who has been physically abused, to know that there is hope and the ability to become whatever you want to be, then the discomfort I feel in talking about it is certainly worthwhile.'' SPEAKING FROM THE HEART -- Geneva Humdy-Woodley (left) and Lois Stafford will be the guest speakers at the Physical Abuse Centre's observance day on Thursday for Domestic Violence Month. They, along with other women, will share their stories with the public about coming out of a violent relationship and surviving.