in the Reform Party this year. He was sighted over Cup Match floating in the turquoise waters near his Tucker's Town home, without a care in the world. He will be glad to be out of the Presidential running this year. His fierce rival at the Reform Party Pat Buchanan has been kicking up a storm trying to shake off a growing line of neo-Nazi followers.

An overworked and underpaid hard-bitten court reporter for Hester's favourite newspaper had his mettle tested last week outside the courts.

The young reporter was accosted by a man who had been in the monthly arraignments session in Supreme Court and ordered to "keep my name out of the paper''. The reporter gave the convicted criminal his marching orders. But the jail bird was not to be thwarted he stuck his hand in his pocket and produced a "phat'' wad of money. "How much is it worth to you? Come on, how much?'' he said in front of a crowd outside the court. He again turned down the kind offer. But the defendant must have been flush with cash, because the black male reporter he tried to buy off was not covering the arraignments -- a blonde-haired colleague was! Bermuda Broadcasting's coup at getting permission to show Shaun Goater's sparkling performance at Manchester City live on Bermuda's technically advanced state-of-the-art Channel 7 has fallen flat on its face. But not to be thwarted by such a piddling thing as the striker being out of action for more than a month, the channel is still advertising the Premier League season's programme which starts in two weeks time.

As Oscar Wilde said, there is only one thing worse than being talked about -- not being talked about. But being the subject of a memo is a bit unglamorous, even for Hester. BF&M boss Glen Titterton had a big sense of humour failure when last month Hester retold a tale of a lost telex machine found by a baffled young member of staff. After speculating on Hester's identity and origins in an official memo, Mr. T, as they call him behind his back, told staff that the story was a "much enhanced, exaggerated and grossly embellished'' version of a story he told a reporter just the day before. While he admitted "the basic story is true'' Mr. Titterton claims the incident occurred a few years ago rather than in 2000. Now, while Hester loves the attention, she has to wonder what all the fuss was about. Surely the CEO of a multi-million dollar company is not embarrassed that a telex machine was found. After all, wasn't the story a comment on the state of technology and young people, not BF&M? Hester was, however, deeply offended by his remarks.

Mr. T said he concludes Hester is "not a real person'' but a "collection of individual reporters who drop odd stories into a Hester bin''. In all of her years Hester has never been treated that way by a gentleman! The nerve! While some Government Ministers enjoy having bigger cars than the rest of us, others are quite happy with a less conspicuous station wagon that is easier to use for personal business. Either that, or Youth & Sport Minister Dennis Lister has taken his Ministerial responsibilities to a new level. Hester has seen the esteemed Minister in his official GP car (on a Sunday, no less) loaded up with camping gear and, on a separate occasion, driving with a trunkload of kids whose legs were hanging out of the back. Is Mr. Lister's Ministry so understaffed that it cannot get tents and children from one end of the Island to the other without obliging the big cheese himself? Hester thinks not. On a separate note, it seemed that the folk at the Ministry of Works and Engineering were all too keen to cover up the truth when they failed to return phone calls from Hester, eager to discover the identity of the Minister behind the GP9 plate.