Dear Annie: I’m in love with an engaged man, but unfortunately, he isn’t engaged to me. He knows how I feel and has told me he has similar feelings. We know we aren’t doing the smartest thing, but we both believe a little bit is better than nothing at all.

The problem arises with his fiancee. I don’t dislike her, but I am concerned about her effect on him. There have been times when I believe she’s hacked into his e-mail account because letters of mine were sent to everyone in his address book. She also spread rumours around that he beat her, which I find completely absurd, and I think at one point, she might have staged a near rape to earn sympathy.

I feel he should be told, but if it comes from me, I’m afraid I’ll just come off as jealous and spiteful. So far, I’ve tried to let him notice things on his own, but I think he may purposely be blinding himself to certain of her actions to avoid being hurt. Should I tell him my concerns or just leave things as they are? — Fearful in Love

Dear Fearful: This guy is engaged to someone else and fooling around with you, and you’re worried his fiancee is taking advantage of him? Open your eyes and take a closer look. If the two of you are so in love, he should have the decency to break off the engagement. If he won’t, you can be sure it’s because he doesn’t care for you as much as you think, and it won’t matter if you spill the beans or not. Get out of this relationship before you become the Other Woman in his marriage, writing us that you’re a wreck because he won’t leave his w.

Dear Annie: My daughter is 22 and has made a choice to remain a virgin until marriage. The problem? Her doctor.

The last two times “Chloe” went to her gynecologist, the female doctor asked if she was on birth control. When my daughter explained she was a virgin, the doctor didn’t believe her and kept saying, “You can tell me the truth.” Chloe repeated that she had decided to remain a virgin until marriage. The doctor kept insisting that Chloe be “honest” with her.

Today, Chloe told me she went to the same doctor to ask if birth control pills would help regulate her menstrual cycle. The doctor told her she had to get a pregnancy test first, even though Chloe reiterated that she was not sexually active. Chloe was so humiliated, she has decided to change physicians.

What is wrong with doctors these days? Is it so inconceivable that a young woman would be a virgin? — Mother of a Virgin

Dear Mor:<$> Doctors who have often been on the receiving end of less-than-truthful patients can become cynical and, when prescribing birth control pills, feel safer requiring a pregnancy test. But it is unconscionable to repeatedly imply that a patient is a liar. Chloe is right to find someone more suitable.

Dear Annie: I’d like to tell “Cautiously Optimistic” that some anger problems cannot be fixed by anger management. Sometimes it’s a chemical imbalance.

My brother and I both had anger issues all our lives and only recently discovered, in our 50s, that we need medical help. I used to be angry at other people for not getting upset at things that upset me. After I had been on medication for a while, I realised this must be what normal people feel like. It was enlightening.

My brother had a horrible breakdown before he got proper medical help. I hope “Optimistic’s” boyfriend can receive help without being judged, and at an earlier age than we did. — Finally Feeling ter

Dear Finally: How unfortunate it took so long for you and your brother to get help. We hope “Optimistic’s” boyfriend and others like him will call their doctors today.