Talking or writing about women's financial issues often provokes comments, or makes people, specifically the opposite sex, a tad uncomfortable.

Remarks such as "this sounds like male bashing", or "isn't this a little discriminatory? " often surface. Neither of those reasons have anything to do with these serious concerns.

It is an undisputable fact that women live longer, and must survive on far less than their male counterparts.

Women assume most responsibility for all of the eldercare and childcare, which precludes them from earning parity.

Still today when their spouses die, they may receive a disparate portion of the estate, less than 1/6th in some civil law countries. Females must know from a very early age how to survive on their own, and yet that is not the message that our society sends them.

The age-old knight in shining armour, and the proverbial song "someone will take of me" myths are alive and well.

Overheard in a waiting room, several months ago were young ladies (say 18-20 years old) giggling.

It is clear that the objects of their scrutiny are several handsome young men employed at an unnamed local utility company.

After discussing these lads' various attributes, the subject of money came up.

Not only are they handsome, but they make a good wage, and receive very generous pensions when they retire! Aren't these ladies practical, looks and money making a nice blend?

They have no idea that under Bermuda Pension law, a spouse to leave his pension to his wife. It is not always a bed of roses for men either, in spite of what we all would like to think.

Watching the sheer exuberant play of our young son and his friends many years ago, it struck me that they had to participate in games with total abandonment.

Little did they know that once they graduated from school, they would have to work for a living for the rest of their natural lives.

That there was truly no other choice. And later, far later, they would also have to face the reality of the other side of the coin, that some of them would not outlast their spouses.

And now for some statistics, taken from the AICPA Women's Health Week 2003

• More than half (54%) of women in their 20's and 30's are more likely to acquire 30 pairs of shoes before saving $30,000 in retirement assets.

• Men have double the current savings towards retirement than women

• When men projected the amount they expect to have at 65, it amounted to $480,000 versus only $170,000 for women of same age

• A woman who gives up business travel, training and promotions to spend time with children may sacrifice as much as $1Million in lost income

•Half of new marriages end in divorce

• The average woman's standard of living , while a man's rises15%.

•Widows have difficulty managing any lumpsum settlements after a spouse dies.

• Widows may live alone longer than married

Our Auntie Rose worked at a back-breaking factory job assembling shoes.

Piece work is exactly that, you are paid only for the pieces you put together. Slow? earn less; Fast? earn more and burn out. She lives her dream to retire to Florida. One year there, and Uncle Jim passes.

Rose lives 30 years alone, on Social Security and a shoe factory pension of $124 a month.

My Grannie, returning to Bermuda after World War I with her military husband, loses him the next year.

She is 44, pregnant, broke and the sole support for eight other children.

What can she do except go into survival mode? There are references to tales of rent evictions and taking in laundry.

Fifty years later after a lifetime of struggle, she goes to glory at age 94.Women today must be self-sufficient contributing members of society as best as they can be. Since the law of averages means that some have more and some do not, the calculation that comes into the equation, is "how much is enough?"

How much is enough to take care of myself?

How much is enough to allow me to advance in my career?

How much is enough to marry, to have children and establish a household?

How much is enough if I have to live alone?

How much is enough to retire?

"Would that there were an award for people who come to understand the concept of enough. Good enough. Successful enough. Thin enough. Rich enough. Socially responsible enough. When you have self-respect, do ? - Gail Sheehy.

There is no ready answer to these questions

I wish that there were, but each lady has to come to terms with what is meaningful to her, what kind of lifestyle she wants, what kind of future she plans for.

Planning ahead is absolutely key.

Otherwise fate will choose for you and it may not be what you want!