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Set the bar high for your children, catch them if they fall

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Nzingha Ming with her daughters Jahzara and Lyani (Photograph by Kondwani Williams)

When people ask me where I get my motivation, I laugh.

It’s not from famous leaders or celebrities, it comes from those around me.

My motivation comes from seeing someone attempting something deeply challenging or heartbreakingly difficult, someone that shines in a beautiful way amongst the tangled forest of their struggle.

Someone I recognise is following their one path with all their heart; who carries inside a flame to succeed no matter what the odds. Someone who loves what they are doing and is devoted to their calling; who is trying to help others, not for a thank you, but for a smile.

I cherish their life lessons and recognise the rare privilege of sharing them with you in my articles.

Last Friday I went to a gallery opening at the lovely Bermuda Society of Arts displaying the profound and exceptional work of local artists throughout the pandemic. When I entered I hugged my beloved friend, the talented and exotically beautiful Nzingha Ming, director of the gallery for nine years.

I was a volunteer at this gallery and witnessed every day how she sincerely tried to help each one of the artists to show and share their art, and how friendly and interested she was in every person who came into the gallery. I have often thought what a difficult challenge it is for her to create a new show for the public every three weeks and what a staggering amount of work and commitment this involves.

I looked at her radiant, smiling face and I asked her about the last year. What did she learn from the hard and gloomy days of Covid? Did it make her stronger, kinder or more grateful?

Nzingha’s words brought tears to my eyes and I would like to share them with you:

“The best way for me to describe the last year is transformation. My accomplishments are centered in the adjustments I’ve made to the changes in the world. It hasn’t been easy for me to leave behind what’s been familiar, but I feel I’ve discovered how to truly be with myself, listen to myself and really take care of myself.

“I am inspired every day talking to my children; they are in such a strange space and have so much ahead of them. They are resilient, patient and making the best of daily changes. I want them to possess spiritual qualities, love mankind and strive for unity as the way to navigate this world, so it creates the push I need to live those qualities with more intention as well as heal any wounds I have pushed to the side. Every opportunity to love, to heal, to laugh, and live… I am now so much more grateful for.”

Nzingha Ming with her daughters Jahzara and Lyani (Photograph by Kondwani Williams)

Nzingha is a single mother and her children are 19 and 10 years old. As a mom and stepmother myself, her deep self-reflection reminded me of how important it is to help our children adapt to this new way of living, to help them to find and choose the right path, to bring them back from virtual reality to this world of the here and now, and to spend time with them in everyday life.

These are the times they will remember. No one is in a better position to inspire their children than parents. Set the bar high, but always be there for them if they fall. They will look to you for guidance, whether they realise it or not, and the things you say and do will inspire and motivate and be a part of them forever.

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Published December 02, 2021 at 7:23 am (Updated December 02, 2021 at 9:03 am)

Set the bar high for your children, catch them if they fall

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