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Daddy daze: Fatherhood finally registers

Bums on seats: choosing a multiple-child stroller requires what seems like a quantum mechanics level of intellect

I imagine, sometimes, that little babies in the womb are just like us in this life.

They can’t see beyond the limits of their little world into the next one; they don’t know that they’re growing little arms and legs and a heart and a brain so they can use them after they are born.

Just like babies have to prepare, parents have to prepare as well.

This time it’s for the baby shower.

Before the baby shower comes the baby registry.

If you would have asked me a couple weeks ago how baby registries work, I would have given you all types of wrong answers. But now, I’m (definitely not) an expert.

My wife feels like an (actual) expert because of all the research she’s done.

All that being said, I thought it would be useful to mention a few of the essential items you’ll need for your newborn, which may or may not go into your baby registry.

Maybe you have a car, maybe you need to buy a bigger car.

I’m not saying put the car in your registry; I’m certain that they don’t have registries for vehicles — but you never know!

I mentioned cars because what you’ll definitely need is a car seat for the baby. I’m pretty sure the Maternity Ward won’t let you leave the hospital without one (or in my case, two).

You’ll also need to take some measurements of your car if you have one, because not all car seats are the same!

I got lost in the maze of car seat sizes and types. It felt like a game of musical chairs where I always lost.

Not only do you have to match the car seat with the car, but you also have to match it with the stroller.

Ah yes, the stroller. Probably a simple matter of style and colour for those with one baby on the way.

But if you have twins (or more), welcome to a world of measuring tape, fine guesswork and quantum mechanics. You’ll need to know if the stroller fits through the doors in your house, if it fits on the bus.

Will it fit in your trunk? Do you want a tandem stroller or side-by-side? You’ll have to figure that all out.

Seems simple, right?

All you’ll have left to fill out your registry with are bibs, bottles, towels, swaddles and cribs, pumps, soothers, tubs AND safety chairs, baby monitors, health kits with thermometers AND night lights, bottle warmers, toiletries, diaper bag ... (the list really is this endless).

Simple (I had to ask my wife what half these things were called, of course).

Maybe you won’t put all of those things on your baby registry, but you’ll probably end up needing them all, so keep them in mind.

I can see why people say I should get in the gym before the twins arrive — it’s so I can lift the stroller and diaper bag at the same time.

Maybe I should add a gym membership to the registry …