After losing a parent (or both), reality sets in. There are many immediate things that have to be taken care of in the sad rites of heavenly passage; notification of family; the celebration of a life at a homecoming service; the choosing of burial garments (often something the beloved didn't like and would never be caught even dead in like a suit); the selection of a casket, burial site and gravestone.

Other tasks ? call them disciplined chores ? come later; endless paperwork because of titling changes; the hiding from the public persona of displays of grief not considered seemly after a few days (no matter the tragedy, one is expected is be back to top performance); the replies to unexpected letters sent to someone no longer here; the review and distribution of all things financial, or in more cases than we think, the borrowing to clear deceased debts.

And some times are the absolute toughest; the disposition of material things; the hoped for leaving of a spiritual legacy; the learning of lessons from the dearly beloved's lives. It is at these moments that the loss is the hardest and the lessons hit home; there is no one now to turn to in time of need, we are the older generation! If the individual who has gone on was someone we admired, will we take steps to emulate this good person who lived life to the fullest extent possible?

We are quite human in our emotions so that reflecting on a loved one's life does tend to bring about some image beatification. However, this may be a temporary phenomenon as we rather quickly (albeit guiltily) remember traits we did not like about another relative or friend even more clearly. So will we resolve to be different, especially if the person now gone never got his/her complete life's worth?

Some beloveds ascend leaving little behind, theirs was a simple life. Others methodically acquired, none of which could prevent (although might have staved off), the inevitable.

While material possessions alone do not compensate for spiritual and emotional well-being, aspiring to being a serene mentor means first of all being self-sufficient. Looking into the future and laying plans now to get there is a commendable pursuit.

The stark truth for us, now that we are the new older generation, is that the number of opportunities to reach for the stars is becoming finite, measured in years left.

Will we plan to live and plan for life? What kind of a legacy to we want to leave? What do we want?

Most people who are nearing retirement have five major goals:

* Enough Money to last a remaining lifetime.

* A satisfactory lifestyle, the definition of which is elusive, but simple or elegant is in the mind of the beholder;.

* New experiences, such as travel and other challenges, i.e. back to school;

* Helping children and grandchildren.

* Giving back to the community.

Somewhat anecdotal though this may sound, in all the years that I have been practising, these are still the foremost primary objectives. I have never heard a concerned retiree say that a retirement goal was to move up in society, purchase a large diamond, or completely overhaul their home. Not that there is anything wrong with any of those goals either. I used to hear clients say they needed to leave as large an inheritance as possible to their children, but this refrain is said less and less.

Evidently, somewhere along the way we have all achieved the maturation (or is it saturation) point possible to feel comfortable with one's self, no longer needing or worrying about excess to make us into a credible respectable personality.

There are also other factors that need to be considered when you start the retirement planning process along with health, housing, expenses, income, and hobbies ? otherwise known as alternative lifestyles.

Where will you live?

What will you do?

How will you live?

How will your health hold up?

How long do you expect to live?

Please watch for next week when I will provide some simple formulas to calculate how long your money will last, some websites to research, and some suggested appropriate asset allocations.

A living legacy by example lives on.

Some content derived from Elaine Floyd CFP horse's mouth article.

The article expresses the opinion of the author alone, and not necessarily that of Bank of Bermuda member HSBC Group. Under no circumstances is the content of this article to be taken as specific individual investment advice, nor as a recommendation to buy or sell investment products, nor as a promotion for financial plans.