The following article is focused on general estate planning and is not intended to be taken as legal advice, nor is the author an attorney. You should consult with an experienced estate attorney if you have any questions or concerns relating to wills, estate filings and distributions, conveyancings and trust administration.

Death.

So final, so devastating, so normal that it happens every day in every phase of human existence.

Losing a precious person makes the rest of us sit up and take notice, if only for a few moments, and cherish the present. For the survivor of a relationship, it is the beginning of many, many changes in what may have been until then a perfect life.

Four Phases of Survivorship.

There are generally four phases that anyone who experiences sudden loss of a partner, or a spouse through separation, divorce or death.

1.You cope with these life changes, especially financially, while trying to maintain a normal life; nurture children if they are in the picture; present a composure to the world while negotiating your career; and manage your emotions.

2.You will have to oversee all the details of financial transition from two to one; you will need to analyse your remaining assets for liquidity and then, if at all possible, make investment decisions that will assure some years of comfort - or at least until you are back up and functioning.

3. As a single person, perhaps with children, you are no longer part of a couple. This means starting over; new relationships, new situations, scary and exciting, new hurdles, and new challenges to move back to a good life.

4.You must plan for your future on a non-traditional basis, by assuming that there will be no partner in your life.

Insomnia Will Help You Organise the Details.

It is also perfectly normal to have sleepless nights, to lose copious amounts of weight, and to feel like a physical and emotional wreck. Be kind to yourself.

If you need to walk and cry for two hours, do it. If you cannot face work that day, it's ok. No one expects you to put on a perfectly controlled face. Set yourself small tasks and check them off the list. It will help you with the inevitable dealing with the estate details that cannot be avoided. You will need to locate - at a minimum - the following documents.

First, Maintaining Health protection.

If you were covered under your spouse's health insurance plan, this is your absolute first call right to the company Human Resource benefits specialist. Stressful times can cause higher incidents of illness and depression. You must obtain notification, preferably written, that you (and your family) are insured, at least in the short term until you can arrange new coverage. Never assume that this coverage continues indefinitely.

Your New Income and Expense Budget.

Your next challenge and probably the hardest, is pulling together a new monthly budget that lists all income that will now be available each month to you and all expenses needing to be paid.

You'll be pushed to organise your budget expenses almost immediately because you will need to track the cost of your spouse's estate-related expenses separately from your family expenses. Estate related expenses can be deducted from the value of your spouse's taxable estate, particularly, if those assets are situated in a tax regime jurisdiction.

Liquidity is paramount. Your primary concern in listing these documents and assets is to verify what cash is reachable and available to you on an immediate basis. The last thing that you should have to cope with is juggling your savings account during the bereavement journey.

The Will.

Locate your spouse's will. In many cases, it is not where it was supposed to be, i.e. the safe deposit box. The will is a necessary part of the estate settlement process, particularly, if you are designated the executor, or have little idea of the contents.

Power of Attorney may be held with the will. You may have previously executed one with your spouse to cover certain other obligations, not contained in the will, such as caring for a disabled child from a previous marriage, etc.

Death certificates - generally, the funeral director can provide these and will tactfully ask you how many you need. While, this is one of the toughest items to receive, make sure that you obtain sufficient copies. As you compile the list of assets held, you'll have a better idea of the number of copies needed. It is more expensive later in emotional and cost terms to have to request additional certificates.

Why do you need them? In order to transfer assets to your name, it is your responsibility to demonstrate authorised evidence of your spouse's passing for every account that your spouse held, whether held jointly with you or in his sole name.

Banks or any other financial institution will not accept your word that he has passed, and may freeze the assets until appropriate verification is submitted. Protection that may seem unfair, upsetting and insensitive in scope, but administered by law to protect the rightful survivor / owner of these assets.

• Spouse's birth certificate

• Your marriage certificate

• Your spouse's social insurance number for both here and any other jurisdiction he may have worked in

• Mortgage documents

• Car loans, etc.

• Credit Card documents.

• Private loan documents, i.e. street mortgages, or extended family loans.

• Insurance policies, life, endowment-types, accumulators, annuities, homeowners, auto.

• Employee benefits handbook listing stock options, restricted stock, group term life insurance, vacation days due.

• Real estate and other asset documents (both local and overseas assets such as deeds, ownership titling, PHRC (Primary Homestead Resident Certificate), leases, rental agreements, life interests, condominium association laws, car, bike, boat titles, registrations, loans etc.

• Financial statements for all banks, investment firms (local and overseas).

• Individual share certificates, business ownership agreements (privately held).

• Pensions and other retirement plans, local and overseas.

• Estate planning directives from other family members, i.e. his parents, grand parents, etc.

• Trust documents, list of beneficiaries.

• Current and other outstanding bills.

Enough is enough. If you, or a friend, have recently lost a loved one, please accept my condolences. Hopefully, this will help you begin to organize the estate affairs.

Do a bit each day, and take the time you need to recover. Unwinding a life is never easy.

An extremely helpful website reference is www.unwantedchange.org

Martha Harris Myron CPA -NH1929, CFP® -67184 (US licenses) is a dual citizen (US and Bermuda). She is a Senior Wealth Manager at Argus Financial Limited, specializing in comprehensive financial solutions and investment advisory services for individual private clients and their families, business owners, endowments and trusts. DirectLine: 294 5709 Confidential email can be directed to mmyron[AT]argusfinancial.bm

The article expresses the opinion of the author alone. Under no circumstances is the content of this article to be taken as specific individual investment advice, nor as a recommendation to buy/ sell any investment product. The Editor of the Royal Gazette has final right of approval over headlines, content, and length/brevity of article.