Question: My 13-year-old daughter has had a problem in school. Her grades in math, English and literature are slipping badly. The only homework she brings home is her math. She has been seeing her math teacher after school for help, but when she takes the tests, she fails.

When she studies for tests in literature, vocabulary or social studies, she passes with flying colours. I have told her this, but she will not study. She is in eighth grade, and I do not want to have to go through this battle with her regarding her poor study habits. Do you have any suggestions as to how I can get her to bring home all her materials and books to study? I have tried taking things away from her and grounding her. Her grades pick up the following week, but the old habits repeat themselves again.

Reply: There seem to be two very different issues with your daughter, but they may be related. Math seems genuinely difficult and frustrating, and despite efforts, she has done poorly on tests. Other subjects seem reasonably easy for her if she puts forth just a little effort; although she is unwilling to do that. It is possible that her loss of confidence in math could generalise to her attitude about all schoolwork. Underachievers often have uneven abilities.

I suggest you ask for an evaluation by the school psychologist or arrange to see a private psychologist. An evaluation can help you determine if your daughter has a math disability and what her strengths and learning styles are. Begin a regular study plan including weekly communication from her teachers. The study plan could involve both rewards and consequences for appropriate study habits. Stay with the plan long enough so your daughter can build confidence and see regular good grades on her report card.

Also, consider that peer relations, sibling rivalry, differences in parenting with one parent being easier than the other, and teachers can all make differences in your daughter's attitude toward school. You can read more about those in my book "Why Bright Kids Get Poor Grades and What You Can Do About It".

Question: My nine-year-old daughter has had a lying problem for a couple of years. We've caught her many times and punished her for them, but it doesn't seem to bother her at all. She has told her friends that our last house burned down or my wife had twins, and her friends' parents ask us if these are true. It's getting way out of hand. Could you please give us some answers?

Reply: Your daughter has learned that her imaginative stories can attract plenty of attention, and she probably gets caught up in the excitement of her own stories. Encourage her to use her wonderful imagination to create little books that she can share with younger children, and tell her that you welcome her imaginative ability as long as she labels her descriptions as "stories".

When she finds herself talking to her friends, she needs to stop and think, then tell her friends whether it's a true or make-believe story. Sometimes she can explain that her stories are partly true and partly imaginative. After she's told a story that isn't true, and she realises she's forgotten to tell the truth, if she explains that it's only a half-true story, you won't have to punish her.

Helping to see her problem as a strength will allow her to attract appropriate attention, while reassuring her that she's not a bad person. If she refuses to explain to others that she's made up parts of her story, then a punishment is appropriate, but first give her the opportunity to correct her mistakes.

Your daughter's problem is a very common problem for imaginative children. Of course, if she continues, she could become a dishonest adult, but most children learn to stop themselves and be more accurate in their descriptions or to reserve their imaginative stories for their creative writing classes.

Dr. Sylvia B. Rimm is the director of the Family Achievement Clinic in Cleveland, Ohio, a clinical professor of psychiatry and paediatrics at the Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine, and the author of many books on parenting. More information on raising kids is available at www.sylviarimm.com. Please send questions to: Sylvia B. Rimm on Raising Kids, PO Box 32, Watertown, Wisconsin 53094 or srimmsylviarimm.com.